Loneliness you know most people don’t even know what loneliness is until they have experienced it. It can be crushing it can live you so depressed that you wont ever want to live the house. I Should know after all I remember the day I caught loneliness, like it was just yesterday. Needless to say its an experience I never want to repeat again.

It all started when my parents got offered new and better jobs else were. I remember when they told me that we would be moving how I felt. I felt like my heart was being ripped in two and being thrust savagely into the far away ocean. I was desolate I was paralyzed with fear and most of all I was angry. Angry at my parents how could they do this to me how could they just accept new jobs without any thought about me. I was living my whole life behind couldn’t they see that. Just as I was about to lash out I saw the look on my mothers face how happy she looked, and I realized that she hadn’t looked that way in a long time.

So like a good little daughter I put on a brave face, smiled and acted as if I was the happiest kid alive. All the while I was screaming inside asking myself why. Why they were doing this to me. I guess my parents believed me because they were so relived about my reaction. Things pretty much went quickly from that point. I have to admit saying goodbye to my best friend Kelly was the hardest thing I had to do at the time. I mean we had known each other since we were babies and to have to say goodbye forever just about broke my heart .

Off we went on our journey of self discovery so my parents said. I think deep down they knew how deeply this was affecting me but they just pushed it away like a meaningless problem. .They tried to convince me that I would soon forget all about my problems, when I saw how big the house we would be living in was. I have to admit at that moment I really hated them, how could they think that living in a big house would make me feel better, I asked myself. I would rather be dirt poor with friends than live a lonely existence in a big beautiful house as my parent had described it.

We got there we settled down and you could clearly tell how happy my parents were. I mean when the weren’t shouting it out, but I wasn’t I wasn’t happy at all. I just wasn’t fitting in. All the kids in my street were snobs of the worst kind. The kid at school were even bigger ones. My parents did not seem to think so though .Whenever I tried to talk to them they just told me to try harder to fit in. I had never felt so lonely in my life before. I couldn’t even recognize my own parents anymore. They too were becoming snobs of the worst kind. They were constantly telling me how my life was so much better now and how I probably had a better future. I got to a point were I even started thinking of killing my self, If only to escape my parents who had become strangers to me by now. I decided to give them one last chance, and talked to the when they gave me more or less the same response as last time I become livid I started shouting and yelling at them. Until finally they listened to me.

Things got better after that my parents started really listening to me, and I have to admit after my parent and I had a long talk I decided to give our new home a chance. After that I began to make real friends and things got better. After experiencing loneliness of the worst kind I never ever want to go back to that place again.


natasha shoko

Joined January 2008

  • Artist



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