The day little Timmy stopped the world

Indeed, it’s probably unfair to lay the blame on little Timmy Rothschild simply because it was his birthday. In reality, the blame could more fairly be laid at the feet of his mother, if only she could have been expected to know. After all, it was she in her rush who omitted to position the fifth candle atop the birthday cake. You see, little Timmy was turning 5 that day, not 4.

If only she‘d continued on into the lounge room without returning to the kitchen for that fifth candle! Sure, a short period of embarrassment may have ensued for little Timmy. It may even have been a life scarring moment. And of course no one would have wanted that, but all of us left today would attest to it being a far better option than the global disaster that took place instead. Even Timmy’s mother, if she had survived. Perhaps even little Timmy, if he were old enough to understand.

For you see, at precisely 13:04, the 28th of March 2006, in order for the world to continue to spin, it was absolutely essential that “Happy Birthday” was being sung to little Timmy Rothschild.

The gathering at Anika Lorenstein’s 84th birthday in Switzerland had done their part, clocking in at 13:03 and 10 seconds, to take over from ten-year-old Mohammed Imran in Bangladesh, (13:02, 45 seconds). All it needed was for little Timmy’s party to pick up the baton and be singing before Anika’s party had stopped. And then, the ever-thinning coverage of the singing of “Happy Birthday” on March 28th would have been averted, at least for another year. And the world would have continued to turn.

If only she hadn’t forgotten that 5th candle!

But alas, what good is there dwelling on the past? For how could any of us had known? We can only be thankful that Mary Tanner, in all the horrible worldwide devastation that took place in the moment following little Timmy’s no show, thought to gather the young lifeless body of her 3-year-old daughter Laura in her arms and gently sing “Happy Birthday”. For even in her death it was still her birthday. And the world started to turn again.

Yes. All we can do now is look forward and continue the resurrection of human civilization, if not as we once knew it, then as close as we can remember. And we can plan ahead to avert any future disasters. With planned pregnancies, and well-timed births. Ensure there are no slip-ups, no omitted candles, so that “Happy Birthday” is being sung each and every day, indeed each and every moment, somewhere, in order for the world to continue to turn.

Of course, none of this will change the fact that people will continue to blame poor little Timmy Rothschild for what happened. It was after all his birthday. And so, the 28th of March will continue to be known as the day little Timmy stopped the world.

The day little Timmy stopped the world


Joined December 2007

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