My Boneyard is a Place of Hearts

I grow bones now.

Tied to my neck
I drag them behind me like a heavy sled through snow

I grow bones.

Grown from thought
thoughts of bland nothingness
the death of creativity
of buried people I won’t visit
you name it
I think it
and they
just
fucking
grow

I am a walking
monstrosity
Bone protruding from skin
living
from the inside out
where everything is angular
sharp
tied to me with heavy rope
where any movement
even the slightest
and I am punctured
by bone and my own attempts
to move about freely in this world.

yes
I grow bones
through sheer inertia
and this Turrets-syndrome of thought
over and over again
the same sick buzz buzz buzz
tinning in my brain
through my ears
congealing in my mouth
perforating my insides
until bones of
guilt
nothingness
spiritual sterility
tear muscle
bore through skin
to create
these
grey yellow bones
sticking out from every
gaping hole

This is how you see me.
This is how I feel now.

I used to be a flesh monger
I used to bury bones
in causeways of ecstasy
before they’d ever see the light of day
I stifled all those lonely
hateful
fucking bones
with moans
of tongue
and beating flesh
of screams stifled
like stinging whispers
with hot red mouths
roaring above naked bodies
a cloudless sweaty dune
undulating
splitting
rutting
sucking
bodies hitching like tulip bulbs
trembling
sliding in the dark
friction and movement
grunting
touching
wetness
heat
endless
endless
fucking

But no more.

Now I grow bones for all to see
every one a testament to all my
ugly
hollow
places

no more great escapes
no more shaking the world
no more trembling heart in the cupped hand of a man

Just me
wondering how long I can do this?
wondering how far can I carry them all?
before I give in
grind the fuckers to ash
and take what’s mine.

Because
you see
I’d rather be tied to the base of a tree full with autumn leaves
silver night spinning in my hair
lust and love all around me
in a circle of blazon fury
finely coiled
ready to spring.

© 2010 mstrace

My Boneyard is a Place of Hearts

mstrace

California, United States

  • Artist
    Notes
  • Artwork Comments 57

Artist's Description

I’m not gonna lie. I’ve not been in a good place. But fuck, I don’t live in Haiti so I have no right to complain. Sometimes I think redbubble was a figment of my imagination. Hmm…Perhaps I’ll try and make my way back. Slowly. Ever so slowly. Making this viewable to the redbubble public has me terrified to the point of bile rising in my throat.

Artwork Comments

  • Mel Brackstone
  • Mel Brackstone
  • theyellowfury
  • mstrace
  • Mel Brackstone
  • mstrace
  • Lisa  Jewell
  • mstrace
  • PJ Ryan
  • mstrace
  • rubyjo
  • mstrace
  • chitrali
  • mstrace
  • Tomi10
  • mstrace
  • Outdoors2
  • mstrace
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait

10% off

for joining the Redbubble mailing list

Receive exclusive deals and awesome artist news and content right to your inbox. Free for your convenience.