A Bit Rude

Sorry if this offends

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FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – (a husbands point of view)

The missus bought a Paperbackdown Shepton Mallet wayI had a look inside her bag;T’was “fifty shades of grey”.Well I just left her to it,And at ten I went to bed.An hour later she appeared;The sight filled me with dread…..In her left she held a rope;And in her right a whip!She threw them down upon the floor,And then began to strip.Well fifty years or so ago;I might have had a peek;But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;She’s eighty four next week!!Watching Mabel bump and grind;Could not have been much grimmer.And things then went from bad to worse;She toppled off her Zimmer!She struggled back upon her feet;A couple minutes later;She put her teeth back in and saidI am a dominater !!Now if you knew our Mabel,You’d see just why I spluttered,I’d spent two months in tractionFor the last complaint I’d uttered.She stood there nude and nakedBent forward just a bitI went to hold her, sensual likeand stood on her left tit!Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;My god what had I done!?She moaned and groaned then shouted out:“Step on the other one”!!Well readers, I can’t tell no more;About what occurred that day.Suffice to say my jet black hair,Turned fifty shades of grey.)

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