Do NOT Assume a Truce!

It’s not that the members of the Dragonslayers were unkillable. Quite the opposite. It’s just that they were resurrected so fast that the gods had given up on sending them to the afterlife. Instead, they were sent to “The Cosmic Waiting Room”.Those who came back all spoke of a small room with a chair, light, small table, and a large leather-bound book labeled “Stupid Wizard Tricks”.You know how every group seems to have this one jerk who thinks he’s a laugh riot? Spends more time messing with you than he does with the enemy?Let’s just call him " The Bastard".To shorten a long story, The Bastard had done it. Every one who had been there when he caused a riot in our party in enemy territory wanted him dead.Rephrase. Were determined to make him dead..So we were a bit surprised when, in the Prince’s Royal Court, The Bastard walked in accompanied by one of the senior members of the Dragonslayers.I guess he thought the circumstances would give him the chance to talk. He was wrong.Story gets shortened again.The Bastard’s last desperate attempt to escape was to use psionics to become a flea and sneak away. Didn’t work.My character in the fray was a kobold named Nuk. He persuaded the others that the proper death for The Bastard was for him to eat the flea.Chomp. The Bastard no more!Did I mention he had turned himself into a flea by psionics? And when you die, the effects of your psionics disappear?One smartass kobold suddenly had a full sized, dead The Bastard in his stomach.Nuk was damn big for a kobold. Not that big.When they finally decided to resurrect Nuk, he told everyone he had had a different experience. Oh, he had gone to The Cosmic Waiting Room all right. However, there was no large volume titled “Stupid Wizard Tricks”.There had been a small, leather-bound volume, titled “Idiot Kobold Ideas”.

Do NOT Assume a Truce!

Marc Grossberg

Hayward, United States

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Artist's Description

Actually happened in a 3.5 version of a role-playing game whose company is always ready to sue somebody..

Artwork Comments

  • annieannie
  • Marc Grossberg
  • Mardra
  • Ann  Warrenton
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