i was once there

i too was once able to speak of sunny days and star filled nights. i could tell a story of love and happiness that would bring a smile to anyones face.
i was once there.
i could see the magic that love brought with it. i once felt it. i cherished it. i fed it. i watched it grow into a powerful force.
i once stood on top of a mountain. i looked down and all i can remember is how beautiful the world could be- afterall i paint my own skies.
there was a time when laughter was my bestfriend. when jokes and games were the best way to pass by the hours. i would jump in the muddy puddles, dance beneath the streetlights, skip through town without a care on my shoulders.- i was once there.

i dont know if the magic ran out- the clock did strike twelve. this isnt a fairy tale. i thought this was real.
at that very moment something reached out to me.
it covered my mouth as i tried to scream for help. the moon burned out- as though it were a flickering candle. what going on?
i suddenly felt cold my body began to shake. i cried that night.

my past came back only to haunt me- it took me right back to the start of lifes hardships. it showed my drunkin daddy, my lost mommy, my sister crying because she already accepted this hell, my sweet grandma that went to sit with God- rest her soul i never got to say goodbye (i’m sorry). everything came swishing by me replaying each sad moment. it wouldnt stop. i asked- i begged.

i awoke the next day and noticed that i wasnt smiling, that i felt kinda lost. i felt pain, heartache, so much sadness. i realized it sucked. i tried to push the darker side away but instead it dragged me in. it laughed in my face and promised to make me miserable. it sure has done a good job too.

i too was once there- i felt thoes things. i know whats its like. i want it back.

Journal Comments

  • Roger Sampson
  • Suzanne German