questions from a lost heart-

Wanting to ask that one question, why’d you walk away and leave me behind?
When do you plan on looking back at what you threw away- was i just not what you wanted or did you just want a life to yourself and to forget what you had made?
Do you even think back and remember the few things we went through together. So many years to catch up on, never will we find time because you are runnung the wrong way- away from me.
I need answers and they better be the truth, when will i find them? When will you dare enough to care and find me? When and if that day were to come, you’d find me in despair because you waited so long to find your baby daughter that finally grew up. The part of my life you missed, you were suspossed to be here for me,give me advice,help guide me the right way, put me first in your life. Never once did you wipe away my crying eyes except the night you told me you were leaving me. Do you feel my pain and the emptiness i suffer with because you are not here.
You left a big hole in my heart and every year that goes by it gets bigger. but my dear mother- if you don’t mind me calling you that, when you find time in that busy life of yours, consider me. Condsider what you’ve done to me- unknownly.
Allow my suffers to be gone. Stop these tears from falling. Hold me in your arms like you did when i was nothing but a child. Tell me everything will be ok once and for all. Protect me from the pain. Sing me thoes songs again, read me thoes bedtime stories. And when the lighting strikes whisper that you’re here you’ll never leave me. Say it once. Feel my feelings if you’re near or far- whisper it in the trees, tell it in the rain. Give me a sign somehow – somewhere to let me know that you’re even still alive.
Is it a lost cause. will we ever be reunited. Do you even remember me or am i memory you forced yourself to forget. I hear the words that you never cared. i almost believed it. i try not to let these mistakes get to me, but how long can one ignore their thoughts. What exactly is holding you back?
fear of rejection? fear of the anger i held because you know what i am feeling.
Dont fear your mistakes anymore. please quit running and come to me. don’t fear the fire in my eyes. its not fair- what you’ve done to me. of course life isnt fair, but this of all things.
the light turned red. the arrows are pointing my way. hurry and get here because the world is fading fast. let us at least get to say goodbye once more. when will things go right? when will the puzzle be completed? how many more years of pain am i goona face or should i say how much more i can take?
even though i barely know you anymore, i still love you.

Journal Comments

  • Roger Sampson