Well I am currently stuck at my second job working until 8 at a retail store where not a soul will step foot in my store after 6. I am trying to keep busy with mindless work but the time seems to tick by and I feel each second.

I guess I feel like ‘complaining’ if you will about some thoughts that bug me. One, I am upset with myself for being sad and becoming this person that I am not. I am afraid of life and afraid of judgement and getting sad easily. There is so much to life and so much out there to enjoy and I am fearful that I will become stuck in an office job working 9 to 5, going home to watch tv, go to sleep and than get up and do it all over again. That’s not the life I want. I don’t want to wake up one day, 75 years old regretting a list of things that I didn’t do with my life. IT’s such a gift to be here and I am wasting it working my life away to have an apartment that I can barely afford and only be able to go to work and home and a movie here and there. I want to travel and see the beautiful places there is out there! I want to run my own business and not have to answer to someone else. I want to make my own schedule. I want to look at each new day with a smile and hope in my heart. I have so many things in my life to be thankful for but I waste my time looking at what I don’t have. This needs to stop! ……

Journal Comments

  • Naylor
  • miravie
  • miravie