Maximus

Doonside, Australia

I am now retired at the early age of 57, this is NOT because I’m so rich that I could afford to do so, but rather because of...

You Know You're a Redneck if...:

- You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

- You´ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

- You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

- Someone in your family died right after saying, “Hey, guys, watch this.”

- You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

- Your wife´s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

- Your junior prom offered day care.

- You think the last words of the “Star-Spangled Banner” are “play ball.”

- You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

- The Halloween Pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

- You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

- One of your kids was born on a pool table.

- You can´t get married to your sweetheart because there´s a law against it.

- You think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk.

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