Boomerang.

It was the autumn of my peril
The fall I’d been stumbling toward
It was the guilt that sliced and cut
It was myself that honed the sword…

~

They sat there for almost a month
Screaming
Snarling
Taunting
Grimacing
Grabbing at me with all the strength they could muster
Right up until the very end

She did her best at keeping them alive
And although she had always been a great nurturer;
Slowly
Those hypocritical mirrors of me
Those deteriorating masks of my loyalty
Of
OUR union (hers and mine)
Began to fade
Wilt
Wither

Die

And though I was relieved to see them go,
I had grown accustomed to the punishment
…After all, I did deserved it

See,
I thought I had conned myself into believing,
…That I was beginning to,
Evolve,
…That I could forgive myself,
And learn from my mistake,
…That I heaved it all into the past,
And there it would stay:
I shed the loincloth
Shaved,
Cut my hair,
Straightened spine to walk upright,
Learned to communicate to
Articulate
To stimulate flame for
Sustenance,
Warmth
For

Sustenance,

Warmth
But
The residual effects of THAT night
A night
With
Someone
Other than
Her
Was affecting me subconsciously
And changing the way I acted toward her
I wasn’t laughing
Joking
Treating her the same
I knew it was affecting her
Yet
Her demeanor toward me hadn’t altered
She would still see me off to work
Every night
With a bright smile
A wave as I pulled out of the drive
And a note occasionally snuck into my lunch
“Have a great night, I love you”

One afternoon though, she looked at me
The same way she always did
The way that only she could
Purely
Vulnerably
No walls
No façade
Just purity
Innocence
Right into me
Connecting me
With every ounce of herself of
Her love…

“Is there anything you need to talk to me about?”
“…Whad’ya mean?”
“You’ve been short with me lately,
You don’t seem like yourself anymore,
I can tell something’s wrong,
What is it?”

It was a Sunday,
I remember it well
A crisp spring day in May
When everything-nature was standing tall
Flourishing
When the chill of a fading winter was all-but transparent
When the world was starting to bloom
To come alive
Evolve

She knew…
I knew she did
Women do
When something is between

“What’s wrong?”
Sigh
“What’s the matter babe?”
Pause
“You can tell me”

This was the second that I knew it was all going to change
That our world that we knew it was about to collapse
That the only person outside of my family that
I honestly ever cared anything for was
About to learn that her man, her
Lover, her significant other,
Was nothing more than
A fake… …a fraud
A deceitful;
Ape

.

My heart was racing
My chest was caving in
I could feel the venom of infidelity
Grinning
Coursing my veins

I looked at her
As deep as I could
To view that internal beauty in its state
One final time
Before
That NOW was soon to be history
Before
That portrait of US turned into regretful memory
Tossed
Into a corner of a closet of a darkened mind
Lost
Within a guide of lessons-learned

Slowly I inhaled the air of admiration
That she still held for me
That I was suffocating in
Reached into her eyes
With mine
With every ounce of my being
Gave her all of the purity
That remained in my piece-of-shit self
Purely
Vulnerably
No façade

And before I knew,
Truth had escaped its cage

Only

To

Imprison

Her

I could see her innocence
Her virtue
The energy of youth
Her dream of a picket fence
Of happily ever after
The promise of life with her first
One and only
Ascend like embers from the fire that was US
And fade
Into the demon-darkened sky that I had cast

She never once yelled
Never swore
Never hit me
Never said she hated me
Because that’s not the kind of person she is
And to be honest,
That’s what hurt me most
Kills
Me
To
This
Day

Instead

As clouds rolled in over the summer skies of her pupils,
As rain trickled in-bead, one by one in slow-motion over the melting terrain of her face:
She looked straight into my eyes…and…
Deflated…
…While
Speaking softly
Innocently
In perfect vocabulary
Of
Devastation
Horror and
Heartbreak
Of
Pain
Sorrow and
Confusion
Of
Emptiness
Trust
Cohesion and
Not-knowing me
Of
Loneliness
Camaraderie
Leaving and
Starting over
Of
Leaving and
Starting over

Starting over

Of

Leaving

And

Starting

Over

_

She taught me how to smile
Taught me how to laugh
To live
She introduced me to myself
And she taught me how to give,
She showed me sunrise
The pupils in my pessimistic eyes
The blues and greens in endless summer skies,
She showed me sea
And all of nature’s glory
She taught me life
And the moral of its story
And I taught her
Hate
And I taught her
Lie
I taught her
Cheat
And I taught her
Cry
And when I ruined her view of life
Completely
I taught her how to die.

Boomerang.

markgb

Niagara Falls, New York, United States

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Artist's Description

A sequel to Caveman.

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