Car Crash

I knew he was going to fast, he was angry, and he wouldn’t listen to me when I pleaded for him to slow down, I was scared. His face was set, the creases in his forehead deep. He was only thinking about one thing, not for himself or me, and that was about punching his best friend out who I’d been having an affair with.The car skidded around a curve, he was going to fast, he couldn’t correct it, and there was on coming traffic, a car and a truck. Our car was spinning, there were blasting horns, and then crunching of metal on metal, smashing of glass and the whole time I was screaming for him to slow dowm. But it was too late. I turned to look at him and then the car started to roll.It felt like time slowed down. I wanted to brace myself but the car was bending and breaking, thank god for my seat belt. I shut my eyes and begged for it to stop. I was hurting but I couldn’t tell where. It finally stopped and unbelievably it landed up right. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I didn’t want to look at him. I could hear other voices; someone screamed for someone to call an ambulance, someone was screaming in pain, there were others close by sounding concerned for him and me.I wanted to open my eyes; I wanted to move. My legs hurt, and I could feel something trickling down the side of my face. My chest hurt too…the seat belt. I tried to speak but only a moan escaped. I think there is something wrong with my back. I have to look; I want to see how he is. I can’t hear him, he’s not moving.I can hear sirens now, more people. They’re trying to get the door open. I still haven’t opened my eyes. I think he’s dead, I heard someone say he doesn’t look good. The sirens have stopped; I can see the flickering through my eyelids. There are hands on me, voices asking me if I can hear them, they’re forcing my eyes open shining a light into them. They’re checking my head, they put a neck brace on and then they are touching my legs. They move my legs, I want to scream, and I’ve never felt so much pain.They’re trying to get me out, someone mentions the ‘jaws of life’, so it must be bad. I’m too scared to look at him but maybe I should, just so I know for myself if he’s okay or not. But it’s to late, they’re lifting me out and I can’t turn my head to see. I try and say something, but once again only a moan escapes. The pain in my legs isn’t as intense; they must have given me something. They’re putting me into an ambulance, I’m guessing, since it smells like a hospital. There are people checking me and talking contantly, but I can’t answer or ask them about him, I need to know, why didn’t I look?I must have slept on the way to the hospital because I’m now lying flat in a bed and I can hear something beeping near by. There are still a lot of people around, checking me and trying to get me to say something. I can hear everything but my body doesn’t want to respond, it must be the shock. I’m thinking about him again, I want to know what happened to him, where he is, I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t get to speak to him again, I need to explain to him what happened.The room is bigger than I thought it would be, there are three other beds, but I’m the only one there. I see now that my legs are in casts and I can feel a bandage on my head. My chest feels tight and it’s painful when I breath in, I’m guessing bruising or maybe a broken rib or two. A nurse approaches my bed and sees that I’m awake, she’s telling me where I am and what happened to me and that I’m going to be okay. I just want to ask her about him, if he’s okay and where he is, but still nothing comes out. She tells me not to talk, just rest.Someone is gently waking me; I’ve been asleep again. This time words spill from me, but they can’t tell me anything, I’ll have to wait until the doctor comes and sees me. My body is coming alive again, my senses alert. I can feel pain but still I need to know if he’s okay, nobody’s telling me anything, why isn’t anyone telling me anything? Here comes the doctor, he’s got to know something.‘Where is my Dad? Is my Dad okay?’’I’m sorry but your Dad didn’t make it, he was already gone when the paramedics got there, there was nothing they could do for him.’‘Oh no…oh please god no. It’s all my fault, he was angry with me, I told him to slow down, if he hadn’t been so angry. No…no…no, Dad I’m so sorry, Daddy please forgive me, I love you, I love you so much, this is not fair, this is not how it was supposed to be, this is all my fault.’

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