Paper chase

Today I went out shopping
A task I loathe to do
but I needed some necessities
Bog rolls for the loo

When coming to the section
known as the “toilet aisle”
I had to stop and think real hard
And ponder for a while

It should be an easy task
Which toilet rolls to buy
Butt lots of different varieties
Were staring me in the eye

Most times I just quickly grab
the ones that are on sale
Today they cost about the same
so I looked closer at detail

Usually I’m not flummoxed
and I shop at a fast pace
but today I was stumped
by a simple paper chase

there was 1 ply, 2 ply, 3 ply
why have so many ply’s?
fold the 1 ply twice or thrice
and you’ve got every size

Some had printed patterns
while others were embossed
The prettier the picture
The higher was the cost

Some come in singles
fours, eights and twelve’s
Far too many choices
both sides of the shelves

Why not have a roll
Where one size fits all
So we don’t linger longer
in the toilet paper stall

Others were well scented
and as far as I can tell
its really pretty difficult
to cover up that smell

What a complication
for ones derrière
It’s a competitive market
when choosing toilet ware

They even have recycled
Butt heaven forbid!!!
Why would you use again
What you’d rather be rid?

It shouldn’t be a hassle
but a simple task to find
A suitable accoutrement
for wiping ones behind

Why bother with fancy paper
It just gets flushed away
Save yourself a lot of time
and just buy a Bidet!!!

Paper chase


Melbourne, Australia

  • Artist
  • Artwork Comments 14

Artist's Description

A day in the life of ……..
……a paperback writer

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