Underestimated damage

Read the following and you can only get a glimpse,
Not of who i am now, but from childhood since.
Had no choice of what was to come,
What id learn as norm… yet made me numb.
Voices repetitively saying “this is the only way”,
But my inner core screaming I AM NOT OKAY!
What was a ‘good soul’ was just a mask i see,
Of people hiding the truth which is the key,
The key to the unlocking of what is done,
To what is done doesnt mean it should at one,
At two, i was only a little girl who wanted more,
Wanted more than to knock and knock at ones door.
My inner core telling me theres another way,
To prove yourself true contrary to what they say.
Fear and denial is the only way i knew,
Little did i know the drilling got so deep through,
I was a zombie,a puppet,and a repeat,
Of what they all wanted as inside i depleat.
How can you take a childs innocence and pure,
Just to install what suits you to endure???
The smiles and words were all so false,
Because there was rules, and on impulse,
A pool of water became a lifepath i didnt quiet grasp,
Doing it for approval and to fulfill my task.
Little did i know by that one dunk,
Id learn that all that ‘love’ had suddenly sunk.
It disappeared like a gust of wind!
Feeling it one moment,then it had been binned.
But the love they once showed me all became a lie,
It had its conditions, and if i didnt apply…
I lived without those that “loved”
Disapproved by the one above.
So just as being in a war, a fight, a battle so severe…
I wear some scars that dont necessarily appear.
I’ve ripped my head to pieces and chapters,
Trying to find justice for these “actors”.
But i cant… there just is no way…
True love doesnt change, thats not okay.
A daughter so grand, a wife up high…
But not for me, but this religious tie.
Love for a person, a daughter, a wife,
Does not disappear anytime through life.
So here i am… i have lost them all,
But im still standing, still standing tall.
Because i now know a peace ever so grand,
Falling asleep and waking up on this land,
Knowing i am the true person within,
Surrounded by love not ruined by sin.
When i hear or see the word love now,
Its proven by actions, no “ifs” or “how?”
That little girl so fractured in sight…
Has grown to be true,raw and bright.
Never can the memories pass away…
And dont, because of you i am the woman i am TODAY!

Underestimated damage

Majlislena

Joined October 2015

  • Artist
    Notes
  • Artwork Comments 2

Artist's Description

Life as a jehovahs witness child

Artwork Comments

  • Sara Riches
  • Majlislena
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