The Walls of my House

The walls in my house ring with voices and stories.
Really they do.
The all seem to have different tones and expressions,
the pleasant stories are calm and cheerful
of birthday parties, Christmas mornings, and quiet
Sundays.
But the not so pleasant stories shout to me,
as if to remind me of what is already so vivid in my
mind.
They take me back to a time in my life where I don’t
care to be,
A time I don’t care to remember.
A time where I kept my feelings locked inside,
Hidden from those who wouldn’t and didn’t care or
understand.
These walls resonate of my mother’s sobs,
When my sister would run away for days on end,
Or bellow my father’s harsh words to my mother
Which shook the house to the very core.
They witnessed the many tears I shed lying in bed
late at night
Wondering what it would be like to live with only
one parent,
Or if my sister was going to commit suicide that night.
The walls bear their scars of being punched or
kicked in when punishments were dealt out.
Fingerprints are still visible on them of people
coming and going,
Nosey relatives, troublemaker friends, and police
officers.
The walls are adorned with plaques and ribbons in my attempts
of trying to be on my best behavior
So I wouldn’t be the next victim of the angry voices
which pounded constantly in my head.
The hardest part; concealing the stains and holes,
In the walls and myself,
And trying to believe everything could be fixed;
Be normal again,
But knowing deep down that it never could be.
I try and run away faster and faster from the black
past,
But it always catches me, and yanks me back
To the world of emotional pain which I battled alone.
I never can escape, though God only knows I’ve tried.
Oh the stories the walls and I could tell,
If only someone would listen.

The Walls of my House

lynnylou

London, United Kingdom

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