The Science of Saying Sorry

I had a good fight neither of us won. Like all fights it was unintentional. If it was no one’s idea why is it so impossible to make peace?

We fought about nothing yet everything seemed to hang on it. No word spoken would be the right word. It would be the right word to make the fight even more fierce. Silence does not end it either, it only makes it worse. It lingers in the air,
hovering like an unwelcome blanket. If you say I am sorry and you add “but”
beware the next level of the fight.

Should you say I am sorry it must be with the perfect tone, kind of like a miraculous sounding sorry that contains every healing property mixed with the right content of love, peace and a measure of self-blame in addition to that to judge self and declare the other innocent in one simple “I’m sorry”.

Saying sorry adequately is a mystery when the correct measurements are all in place. It can magically oblitirate all sins never to be remembered again, sins committed or sins percieved to have been committed and all live at peace.

So how on earth do you say sorry? I do not have all these ingredients,
such as making the voice sound as sincerely repentant in order to appease the offended myself included. Nor carrying the weight of one’s sins even if they believe in their innocence, or perhaps the magic is in the acceptance that for such a fight to occur in the first place in your presence makes you deserving of all the judgement lorded upon you upon that fight and with that sense of responsibility; you free all those involved by admitting your wrongfulness, with all sincerity and you judge no one but yourself in appearance but when you judge no one including yourself then you are truly free. All are forgiven and that magic word might just work.

© siki.dlanga
19 Oct 2010

The Science of Saying Sorry

LoveWitness

CAPE TOWN, South Africa

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