My Mum pt 3

Mums’ surgery turned out that the more they looked inside her the more they found. So something that started as an ulcer, and then became throat cancer now had spread quite further than they believed. During surgery they removed a large part of the esophagus and therefore had to bring the stomach up towards the breast area for the new shortened esophagus to reach the stomach. Quite fascinating they can do this. Such radical surgery meant mum would have difficulty eating. I’ve learnt never to trust a doctor when he says “only.” Only forgets to mention all of it relatives that gate crash the party.

It was after this I became interested in getting my mum interested in what some of us call “tree hugging hippie shit” and to my surprise mum was actually interested in learning about the formally named alternative medicine. So it was off to the bookstore.

The range of books claiming miracle cures is unbelievable. You can purchase a book to cure anything. I wasn’t after any promises just a book that gave a bit of hope and shed a bit of light on something we never wished to know anything about until now. My first purchase was an autobiography by a man named Ian who had been through all the evils of cancer and came out the other end to prove it was possible. Hope…that’s all we wanted at the moment…no matter how little.

Mum was back in a normal ward. Her voice was still with her so that boosted her spirits a little and they needed boosting. She was always self-conscious and the scar on her neck didn’t help it any. Visitors were in an abundance and although mum needed rest it was nice to see the amount of love that was shown by all in there concerns and kind words. So here was my mum such a little lady but pulled through such an enormous operation and still managed to smile every time I popped my head around the corner. Mums love for me was huge it took me ages to realize and appreciate it.

I spent the majority of my growing up years as a fairly happy kid. I was always the class clown and never had a problem humoring myself. My life changed in my final years of high school I decided it was time to tell my friends what I always knew…that I was gay…to them I had grown another head, I kept checking but I hadn’t. Life, I thought, was not going to get any better so why persevere with all the taunts and the heartbreak surely ending it now would solve all this. I can’t explain why I tried won’t even ask for forgiveness over it. To a kid my age dealing with taunts is not easy and shouldn’t be necessary. For the next seven years I spent my life trying to get my parents acceptance, not realizing I had it. To me their acknowledgement was the most important thing in the world and the heartache I caused them over it was huge. Oh how things change, lucky I realized, some people never have the chance to really get to know their parents they just live with a lot of regret of never knowing.

Mum arrived home. With a new found hope and a reason to see life for everything it had to offer. I had a new job. Things were changing…with a bit of luck for the better.

My new job had me looking after inmates in the kitchen. The first day I went for the interview they took me down to the kitchen to have a look at the area I would be working. My first view of my new work place was of this six foot something Maori with a knife cutting through pumpkin like I cut bread. So here I was all five foot three of me deciding whether I could control the likes of this…what could I lose. I took the job and began training in security. I never dared told mum that I had any contact with the inmates keeping the truth from her would allow her to sleep at night and keep all her brown hair.

Visits to mum died down a little due to her improving health and this allowed me to sort out my personal life dramas. I moved to a new house still with my girlfriend and tried to decide whether I really did want to be in this relationship or not. Everyday I fell more and more out of love I couldn’t deny this and I would never pretend this to anyone. I decided to end our relationship she decided not to. During the tumultuous break up I had gained and lost a few housemates.

My new housemates were treasures in their own secret way. Simon became my brother type figure we had similar humour, we liked the gym and he had all the time in the world for people. His heart was a big as his biceps and I’m sure it grew as they did. Damo was from my school but never got involved in the high drama politics of high school. I had also lived with damo previously and we had had the required space from each other to do it again. Damo also did karate so I felt extremely safe living with them. I had some terrific times with these guys. Simon was also a wealth of knowledge. If he didn’t know about the subject then he’d certainly read about it and get back to you. He took up an interest in my mums well being as well so surely mum was in good hands now.

The one thing that really stands out from my mums ordeal in the way of other peoples reaction is that they all have grown closer, become more aware and concerned with their own mums’ well being.

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