Need a cup of laughter???

1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap.

2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to
pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in
public.

5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my
way.

6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a dang word you’re
saying.

10. Ahhhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a darn.

14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15.. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point
of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

18. Any connections between your reality and mine are purely
coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.

21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of the king, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-butt opinion would be?

24. Do I look like a freaking people person to you?

25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door ..1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you really marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is finally done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

39. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

40. Wait a minute – I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

41. Aren’t you a black hole of need?

42. I’d like to help you out, which way did you come in?

43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?

44. Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.

45. If you have something to say raise your hand, and place it over your
mouth.

46. I’m too busy; can I ignore you some other time?

47. Don’t let your mind wander, it’s too small to be let out on its own.

48. Have a nice day, some place else.

49. Your not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight off.

50. You really are as pretty as a picture, I’d like to hang you.

51. Don’t believe everything you think.

52. Ssshh, that’s the sound of no one caring.

This was sent to me via one of my email buddies… if you don’t laugh with at least one, your laughter is broke :O)

Journal Comments

  • Judi Taylor
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  • Katagram
  • loramae
  • lightsmith
  • MichaelTravis
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