My first story - A work in progress

I see a tall slender woman walk across the street toward me. She is not young, but she appears vibrant and alive. Her flowing shiny black hair responds slightly to the breath of air that her forward movement creates, lifting it seductively from her face.

Her face though showing the creases of time, of a life of joy and sadness glows with an infectious smile and evidence of a healthy lifestyle. Love and inner confidence seem to radiate from her aura.

She has caught my attention and I am compelled to watch her as she glides toward me.

Her body shows signs of muscle tone which is not usual in one her age.
But what is her age, I wonder?

I am tempted to ask her more about herself, I am so fascinated by her presence, but I just smile back at her as she draws closer.

Then she stops and asks me, how I am? And I stop to respond.

I feel uncomfortable, believing that she has been offended by my gaze, so I begin to apologize searching for the words to explain to her that my intent was not disrespectful, but one of appreciation.
She rests her hand on my forearm before I can stumble through my sentence of explanation and she asks if I have time for coffee.

I am taken back by her obvious friendliness and trust and answer that I would love to and I suggest a Café close by that I know has great coffee and a peaceful ambiance.

The next few hours vanish as we take the time to care enough to want to get to know one another.

She explains for me, with just enough detail, who she is and how she came to be here. She tells me that she is an artist and has recently moved to the area.
We laugh as she shares snippets of her life as a single parent. Her four babies, she explains are independent now, she has 2 daughters and 2 sons. She outlined for me her philosophy of parenting and how that had created a bond closer to friendship with her children. They had shared years with her that were not always positive. Times when she was lost and struggling to know who she was and how to proceed forward in her life. They had laughed with her, and cried on many simple impromptu gatherings. And many times took the role of responsible adults, when she was not capable.

They had learned to appreciate her as a human being, not a parent and they respected that. She encouraged them to find and honor their own journeys – whilst loving and validating them no matter where their choices lead them.

Her eyes sparkled with a tangible love and joy that they all shared.

I asked her about the children’s father and a moment of sadness flickered across her face. It was not hate, it was not bitterness, but it was an understanding of a gift that had been lost.

She explained the struggle that she faced after the marriage ended. Her childlike romantic view of a loving relationship had been crushed.

She explained with a wicked smile that she loved the company of men, but that she had previously searched for years for an effective way to interact with them because of a loss of faith in the love concept.

Each failed relationship compounded her lack of belief that that kind of love was even a reality for her. During that time she had a wonderful life, filled with moments of joy and outrageous adventures, but ultimately incredible pain as the relationships altered before her very eyes and ended.

In the end she gave up all hope of choosing some one that she could be compatible with and could share the days and nights of her twilight years with.

I asked the question “What was she looking for”, to which she responded, it no longer mattered what she was looking for. She was obviously unable to make those choices wisely. She began to wonder was it her own inner fear and loss of faith that caused her to shut down and not let men in.
There was no blame or discomfit in her as she explained this to me, there was a total acceptance and freedom which appeared to come with self awareness and independence. She continued on that she had then challenged herself to change the way she had been, and almost immediately changes occurred around her.

She met men who brought to the surface, sadness that had been locked away forever. She found that the universe provided for her exactly, what she needed. But she still faced a dilemma. The universe provided her with two men whom she grew to love.

One was well known to her and although they were compatible in so many ways there were barriers to a relationship developing.

The other was a newer man to her world, who seemed too good to be true, which in itself created a barrier.

The first man also became a barrier to the growth of the 2nd relationship.

So in exasperation she threw her hands in the air and decided to visualize, as if she believed in fairy tales, what her life long partner would be like.

She visualized a person who demonstrated total acceptance of who she was and what she believed in.

A person who had a sense of freedom and adventure that matched her own.

He would have to make her laugh and have a sense of humor and fun, but also the ability to share and discuss deeper issues.
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Final Chapter

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It has been three years since that afternoon and I have never seen her again. I often wonder if she knew that I was a journalist and that I would share our story?

And will she ever understand what a positive effect her company on that afternoon, had on my life?

My first story - A work in progress

Lonewolf62

Joined October 2008

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