Sweat drips down my brow,
Stinging my eyes.
Cold numbs my nose,
While I breathe in deep.
Exhaling slowly through my mouth.
My feet pound across the dirt,
The rocks uneven,
Breaking the smooth motions of my stride.
I keep on running, forgetting where I am.
Sipping warm coffee,
In the comforts of my mind,
I browse through a book I am reading.
Next I am driving alone,
Through darkened streets,
Listening to music loudly,
Thinking about life.
Then I am standing overlooking a city,
And thinking about the journey to come,
The one that has come to be,
Slowly I drift back to the present and where I am,
The past thoughts a quarter mile behind me.
I keep running,
My breath is coming in smooth, exhaling slowly.
My thoughts drift further,
I forget where exactly my feet are landing,
Soon I’m not watching where I’m going,
Just running, running to be in my mind.
I see your face, it’s smiling,
And then I see you walking.
I hear your voice, faintly,
I can’t understand what you are saying.
It’s just you being there that matters.
Now I’m sipping chai tea.
It’s October of 2011.
I’m sitting on my couch,
Petting my dog, thinking.
Thinking about you,
About how things went so wrong.
It’s almost November.
Such a monumental month.
It’s important, my favorite,
The church is dark outside the window,
It’s late, everyone is asleep.
I’m sitting in silence thinking.
I have the key in my pocket.
So I just walk over there.
I’m in the pews reading my bible.
It’s written in Greek and English,
But I’m not wasting time with English.
I read from it, not knowing what I’m reading,
But I can feel it, and that means a lot.
I think about you again,
I read faster.
I close my bible and lean my head back.
Closing my eyes.
I can see you there.
Chances are though,
You aren’t smiling.
I pray.
Asking forgiveness,
For things to work themselves out.
For lots of things.
But only one thing really matters.
I pray for your happiness,
That’s what I want,
Because it kills me knowing,
That when I see you smiling,
You aren’t really smiling.
So do me a favor,
Be happy, truly happy,
No matter the cost.
Just so when I’m running,
I’m not lying to myself,
When I picture you smiling.


Linc Brown

Kimball, United States

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  • markhadafairday
  • Linc Brown
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