Apologies

It’s killing me.
Everything that used to be.
Such a beautiful melody,
Sang loud and true,
Now muffled with thoughts of you.
Buried by everything I do.
Maybe just maybe,
Things could be another way,
To hear the things you used to say.
But you are lost, long gone,
Another corpse under the lawn.
The past, it grows roses who smell so sweet,
But wouldn’t be possible without the bitterness beneath.
The rotting flesh and terrible mess,
Of the truth that left everything a guess.
To determine honesty, in such a misconstrued scene,
Leaves one emotionally scarred, feeling used and mean.
There is only remorse left in me.
I don’t know what I’ve come to be.
I feel I have wronged everyone that’s ever meant something,
Wronged them, selfishly, unconsciously, unknowing.
I can’t even apologize,
There is nothing I can say, to make it right,
Nothing to do to take it all back.
There’s nothing,
but this.
I’m sorry.

The words they sound so little and frail.
So misused and unfelt.
I feel them.
But the words don’t do the emotion any service.
Don’t compare to what I carry.
What I want to relieve.
What I want to make up.
But I can’t.
A man is only able to be one place at one time.
Restricted to his emotions, and actions,
Of his particular place and time.
Restricted.

Apologies

Linc Brown

Kimball, United States

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