True Love Lost.

I open my eyes this morning, dragging the sorrow of my dreams with them into the waking light. Desperately they try to carve an image of you into this reality. It is futile. Every day since you’ve been gone has been like the falling earth that covered over you my love. This weight you leave me with has crushed my soul to near nothingness. How do I let go?

This is my punishment for failing you. Memories of you cut through the dark skies in my heart like the light through black storm clouds then disappear leaving me blinded in the cold darkness of your absence, wondering if it was all just a dream. I remember when I first felt your hand in mine & looked into your eyes. I can’t imagine not waking to see you. I dream of you always my love. I hold back from following your footsteps only as my last promise to you. I will live for you. You left me with the memories of you to sustain me like an ice cube with a man in the desert. It cannot last… When those memories are faded shall I follow you? I think of casting them aside every day. I want to just forget all the pain and loss & pursue you into the darkness of you depression. Seeking out the mindset you tragically found, to make it my own. I can’t do this anymore…

I’m tired of the self delusions, tired of the fake smiles, tired of pretending nothing is different. I spend my days searching for ways to make this pitiful life meaningful again, to no avail. Why did you leave me? The wind is on the verge of blowing away this empty husk that people know me as. Why can no one see it? Can no one help me? Would I even let them I wonder. Maybe I deserve to be suffering like this. You called to me & I did not act quickly enough. I it was I who said I love you, yet I betrayed that love. Never forgive me. This is what I deserve.

True Love Lost.

kyuubi00

Auckland, New Zealand

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Artist's Description

It was a depressing day.

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