The man you can't run away from.

You are walking back from University…Your lectures are done for the week & your mind is busy working out your plans for the weekend. There is a wind blowing that is teasing your hair across your face. You glance up & sweep your gaze around briefly. You look down to the steps you are descending & you slow & lookup again, this time your had brushes your hair aside as you squint in the brightness of the sunny afternoon. You think you see someone you vaguely recognize.

You take a few steps then come to a dead stop…. Your heart is racing. You haven’t seen him is so long, but you have read his letters; peering into his mind & his heart. You stand awkwardly in silent shock, half poised on the edge of a step. It seems impossible. How is he here? Why? He is smiling at you. Taking his hands out of his pockets, he begins to ascend the stairway slowly. His eye fixed on you. A wave of uncertainty sweeps over you & your hand darts to the railing to steady yourself as your legs partially give way beneath you. Your heart is screaming for you to run into his arms as your mind flashes back to all the words he spoke to you, all the intensity of his declared desire for you. But your mind is screaming to run, call for help and cower in fearful apprehension. You summon the remaining reserves of your confidence & straighten up subtly; your hand still carefully clasping the rail for support.

He seems to take an eternity to get close to you, as if floating to you in the dreams you’ve had about him. Then he is only 3 steps away from you. He is still smiling, deep black eyes reading your every move & expression. Your legs threaten to give out again & you force yourself to focus. “Hello my darling,” He says. You are speechless for a moment. His voice isn’t like anything you expected to hear. It feels like it is rumbling inside your chest as his words roll across his tongue. You try to snap at him about how he found you & why he is here, remembering as you says the words that it was you who told him. Your voice comes out in a soft croak. Your mouth is dry. You look around trying to find some comfort in the fact that there are people around you as you swallow harder than you intended & rather obviously.

“Well, I came all this way to meet you, care to join me for a coffee?” he casually offers. He smiles a little wider then turns sideways as his gaze sweeps across the ground. He looks up & out at nothing in particular as he waits for you reaction. You are thinking of a way to get away, but you find yourself agreeing to it, your lips seemingly moving of their own volition. He moves away from the rail into the middle of the stairway so you can descend towards him while still holding it, as if he is aware of how vulnerable you are feeling. He keeps an arms length from you. You ask how the trip here was & slowly, a simple conversation begins to form. He laughs as he says you have to choose as he naturally doesn’t know any places you could go to & you suggest somewhere nearby.

As you sit across from each other you talk about all sorts of things. After a while & a few laughs he starts to get a little less chatty & you find yourself asking most of the questions. He spends the entire time looking at you, his eyes tracing out your every feature, like he is carving an image of you into his mind. An awkward silence hits and you find him looking into your eyes. Your head twitches slightly as you try breaking the gaze but something holds you there for a moment….

Leaning closer he whispers “did you think I was just playing mind games with you?” As he leans back his face is slightly serious. You see something dark across his eyes & realize he is anxious. His legs crossed under the table, his hands clasped together as if trying to control themselves. You smile & look down into your drink, your poise returning to you nearly completely. You tell him you never expected a guy like him to do something like this. You tell him you are with someone & you want to try & make it work.

He is sitting forward as you raise you head, his eyes instantly locking onto yours. There is a look in his eyes like a hungry creature trying to decide whether to pursue his intended target or shy away& plan a safer attack. As if reading your thoughts he says, “I need you. I’ll give up anything & do anything if you will just give me a chance. As long as there is breath in me, I will never hurt you. I will do anything you want. Anything.” You tell him you don’t even know each other how can he feel that way. You tell him you are with someone & it would never workout. “Remember, how I can make you feel…” he says, “That feeling, now I am with you, I can multiply as many times as you want. All you have to do is let me.” You stand up, his eyes still fixed on your face. You tell him you can’t do this. That he’s crazy, he should find some other girl. You walk to the cashier & bump your hip on a seat back as you make your way there. You want to run but you feel like you would collapse in a heap if you tried, your legs are towers of jelly. You get to the cashier & rest your hands on the counter.

“All together.” He says over your shoulder. You try to argue but he is already paying for you both as you fumble around in your bag. You close up your bag & head out the door. He calls after you & you try to gather yourself. You swirl around & your hair wisps across your face. You tell him you can’t see him again & this is goodbye as you push the hair out of your face, your jaw set in a show of obduracy. Swinging around you start to walk briskly away as a cool breeze blowing around you, putting some energy into your pace. He is still walking after you telling you all the things you said to him. All the times you told him you loved him. You turn into a shop in desperation. You walk to the end & turn to tell him if he doesn’t leave you, you will scream for help. He takes your shoulders in his hands, warm big hands, & pulls you along into the isle of a changing room. “Why can’t you understand? I choose you,” he whispers.

Quickly he pulls you into him & your lips touch. You unconsciously part yours & his tongue slips out & runs along your bottom lip. You part your lips a bit more & you start to push your tongue out to him but his is already between your lips, teasing your tongue out. Your head is starting to spin & you feel your legs, as well as your resistance, buckling. He runs his tongue along the edge of your teeth & along your inner bottom lip, teasing you tongue out & sucking it. A voice in the back ground causes you to push him back. You are breathing like you have been in a marathon, tiny beads of sweat forming along you collar bone & neck. He pulls your hands away from his chest & slides his fingers into your palms. His body pushes up against you. As his face descends towards yours, he whispers, “Let me.” you feel the last vestiges of your self-control slip away & resign yourself to this feeling as you arms wrap around his waist and he cups your face in his hands, pulling your tongue into his mouth & drinking down the sweetness of your lips…

The man you can't run away from.


Auckland, New Zealand

  • Artist

Artist's Description

I loved a woman but she never loved me back. I wanted to do this so badly. i wish it was a reality.

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