electric shock. a true story.

It hurts.

Like active to earth.

It hurts.

Have you ever had an electric shock?

I have; I’ve had many.

So, I’ll tell you a tale

Of a “boot” I had

Which relates to now…

So, lets go.

A job to do
In Mawson Lakes
A sardined new suburb
A two storey house.
Customers were nice enough
I don’t remember their faces
Nor their names
Nor any real definitive traits.
Their air conditioner didn’t work
No air flow
“No worries, I’ll sort it” I said
And I proceeded to do so.
Set up the extension ladder
Up against the first level of the house
No harness, no safety sling, no nothing
Just me and my dunlop volleys.
Up I go, take off the air con pads
Listen to the hum of the motor
But, no rotation of the fan blades
So, no air flow into the homestead.
Take off the control panel
And there it is…
A capacitor…
Proper fucked, black bubbling jizz oozing.
Back down stairs
I say, “easy fix love”
I have a “cap” on board
I have the fucking kitchen sink on board.
Now, let me explain
What a capacitor does
Just quickly
Without confusing any carpenters present.
A capacitor
Holds charge, holds voltage
To allow the motor to “kick off”
It gives the motor the starting current to be able to run.
Two wires, straight change over
Piece of piss
Nothin in it
Two stories up.
Keep in mind
A capacitor “holds” charge
Which must be discharged
Via a screwdriver across the terminals.
This cap was proper fucked
It was late in the day
I wasn’t thinking straight
What ever.
Two stories up
Color bond corrugated roof
5/16 screws lined perfectly
Awesome view of Mawson Lakes.
I go to remove the fucked cap
When CRACK! I wear it all
This cap unleashes on my fingertips
This was more of a shock than a pain.
I jump back, shocked, two stories up
Onto my back… I instantly begin to slide
Head first, tech heads scraping my shoulders
No gutters, I slide fast, on my back, head first.
As I hit the edge of the colorbond
I think, I’m fucked, good night Irene
I flip, like a frikn ninja, over the edge
I feel the first story whisk past my nose.
I hit a pointy/soft, decorative tree
Around 4 meters tall, right in the ass
Which then bows and slowly lowers me
Directly in front of my van.
I take a step forward
The tree strokes my ass as it whips back into position
And I pause momentarily
Then… for whatever reason, I sneeze.
I slowly, as if in a dream, open the back of my van
And sit, in a daze.

I light 3 cigarettes in situ
I recollect
What. The. Fuck.
I should’ve died… not my time.

If anyone saw that…

Fukn… wow.

And this is where I’m at.

A job to do.
Nearly dead. But not.

Carry on son.

I remember the customer said to me
She didnt hear me come down…

I said nothing to her
I said nothing to my boss
I said nothing to my missus
Until now.

My lecturer once said to me
“You must respect electricity
As it sure as Hell
Wont respect you.”

electric shock. a true story.


Joined November 2010

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