The Oowie Book

A little boy named Henry is riding his bike home for lunch, and he hits a pothole right outside his house. End over end he goes, skinning his knee and banging his nose. The whole next page is covered with : “OOOW! Ouch! OH, DANG! Oooo, Oooch, OOW, OOOW!” etc.

Sprawled on the ground, he can’t decide which hurts worse, the nose or the knee, so he’s nursing them both, still bawling loud enough to wake the dead. On his shoulder, almost unnoticeable, is a small monster with big teeth and a delighted smile. Now the family, his mother, his sister, and his brother come rushing out of the house. Mom bends down to help, and the brother and sister are torn between their brother’s injuries and looking expectantly at Mom.

She shakes her head and says sadly, “Yep, I’m afraid it’s time for the ambulance!” Both the brother and sister shout a delighted “YAY!” and immediately start squabbling.

Sister: “I get be in front this time.” Brother : “No! I get the front.” Looking up, Mom says to brother: “You did it last time, it’s your sister’s turn.” The children grab Henry by his head and his feet and rush him into the house. The girl is making siren sounds at the top of her voice. The boy goes “Ding, Ding, Ding!” and gestures helpful turn signals. By now, the monster has grown and is jumping up and down on Henry’s chest. Still no one notices him.

Mother quickly clears the table with a flip of the tablecloth. “Lay him down right here.” As Henry starts to sit up, the monster hops off onto the table, gruesomely fascinated with all this confusion. Then suddenly Henry notices his nose is bleeding. His howling starts all over again.

“Quick!” says Mom, “We need the emergency towels.” The boy runs off and brings back a big stack of red towels and a huge emergency kit. Mom starts to mop up Henry’s injuries. The flood of tears drives our monster up onto the stack of towels.

“Lay down, Henry and I’ll get some frozen peas for your nose. That will help.” Meanwhile sis had donned a nurse’s cap and is taking his temperature, the brother is tapping his good knee with a hammer.

By the time Mom gets back the creature has reached a huge size and is comfortably lounging on Henry’s chest.
“Momb,” he says through his tears, “There’s sombthig sitting on me. He’s squashing me. Tell him to go away.”

“Oh,” said Mom, “I can’t do that…you invited him.”

“I dib?” says Henry.

“Sure, that’s your Oowie.”

Henry frowns, tears still trickling, and whispers “Geb oub of here, Oowie.” The Oowie looks disappointed.

Mom puts the peas on Henry’s nose. “OOWW! Oow…oow..owww!”

“You know, Henry, that Oowie is going to get so big, we’ll have to move out of this house!”

“I can’t help it. It HURTS!”

“Oh, yes you can, Henry. You have to scare him away. Let’s see you do it.” Henry sticks his tongue out at the creature. The Oowie looks doubtful, but doesn’t budge.

“Now, son. I know you can do better than that!” Henry screws his face into a terrible grimace, pulls his mouth out into a gaping hole, pushes his eyelids back and crosses his eyes. The Oowie actually shrinks a bit and begins to look nervous.

“Ahh, that’s my boy…you’ve got him on the run. Try growling at him,” she suggests.

“RRroarrr!” goes Henry, snarling mightily. By now the creature has retreated a step and begun to fade, but he’s definitely still there.

“Quick! What else. Mom?”

“Try whistling.”

“Whistling? Whistling what!? Hurry, Hurry!”

Mom’s getting flustered, and the monster starts to grin. “Oh, I don’t know…try ‘Old Suzanna’!”

But all that comes out of Henry’s lips is a dry sputter. Try as he might, his mouth is spitting nothing but cotton balls. The Oowie has regained his former glory and is grooming his nails casually, grinning for all he’s worth, and tears start to flood Henry’s eyes again.

By now the Oowie is so confident that he leans back on the towels, crosses his arms behind his head, purses his lips as if whistling to himself, and then (fatal mistake) he props his feet on Henry’s bad knee.

“OUCH! You lousy Oowie! Get off my sore knee!” Henry gives him a great shove, toppling him off the table and rolling him right into the garbage can. There he sits, an astounded expression on his face, draped with banana peels and yesterdays trash. Henry looks at him and breaks into gales of giggles, then laughs till his sides hurt. The creature, hearing the laughter, immediately starts to loose air like a deflating balloon and sails right out the window.

Lesson: There’s nothing quite like laughter to cure what ails you.

The Oowie Book

Lynda Berlin

Stockton, United States

  • Artist
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Artist's Description

We are presently working on illustrations for this story. L.

Artwork Comments

  • LeslieBattjes
  • Lynda Berlin
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