One would say I'm mature.

One would say I am mature. One would be wrong. I’m really not. I never want to grow up. I’m scared of the real world. But I can assure you that when life demands me to be strong and mature, I can be the bravest person in the world.

The woman next to me is wearing a bright pink shower cap. She’s ancient, must be at least 75 and she’s in the middle of an anxiety attack. I know how it feels, so I try talking to her, distract her a little. She says she’s going to a wedding tomorrow and enthusiastically whips off her shower cap to reveal her freshly cut bob. This isn’t just any bob. It’s chocolate brown and looks like it belongs to a 7 year old girl. I choke, smile and manage to say ‘Whao, that really looks great!’
The woman opposite me introduces herself several times to anyone who walks past, then spontaneously bursts into tears. I’m amazed that even here she takes the time and care to do her hair and makeup perfectly. I studiously avoid eye contact. Anyway, I have my hands full trying to calm down Betty Bob next to me.
Tim arrives, ‘You ready?’
‘Yeah, I’m ready, can I wear my cross? Everyone’s telling me I can’t wear it.’
He reassures me that if anyone asks, to say that Tim said I could.
We enter the Theatre and I’m greeted with the familiar sounds of Radiohead. Immediately the prodding and poking begins. Its stings. Tiny holds my hand. And Tim reminds me to breath.
The next thing I remember is being on the table smiling at the camera. Then everything stops.
With my fathers hand in mine and a styraphome cut of ice in the other, I slip in and out of consciousness for two days. Talking to people who weren’t really there, was the only thing I remember feeling real. My parents skin glowed as if they were angels.
After three nights in intensive care I was wheeled to the post-operative ward where I spend the next two weeks.

One would say I'm mature.


High Range, Australia

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Artwork Comments

  • Ushna Sardar
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  • Ushna Sardar
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