did you know...

someone keeps asking me stupid questions when i log onto redbubble, but i don’t see any space to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’, so i don’t quite understand the point.

yes, i did actually know it took a long time to build st. peter;s basillica, but i also know that it took al ot longer to build the tescos on the emscote road.stick that up your junta.

did you know mona lisa shaved her eyebrows? no, but i din’t care.

did you know did you know Sir Isaac Newton invented the color wheel in 1666? no, but that was the year the fire of london broke out, and he could have clearly been doing something more fucking useful, like carrying a bucket.

did you know the great Gothic cathedral of Milan took 419 years to complete? no, but it would only take less that a milisecond to entirely obliterate using a pershing 2 ballistic missile with a 10 megaton warhead.

did you know ancient Chinese artists would never paint pictures of women’s feet?
yes, because chinese women don’t have feet.

did you know chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying?
yes, but it’s much more effective if you jam it into your tear ducts.

whoever you are, will you please leve it out, or come up with some slightly less predictable bullshit- or put me in charge of it.

introducing mister khan’s heritage trivial-drivel sampler***

did you know that pyramids took fucking ages to build?

did you know hardly any of the models in jazz mags have hardly any pubes, at all?

did you know if you stick a marrow up your arse it will bring tears to your eyes, even if you’re not peeling onions?

did you know fondue was invented by a bender?

did you know if china continues to grow at the same economic rate for the next 20 years, there won’t be any noodles left at all by 2045?

did you know if you tattoo ‘twat’ on your forehead, you’ll find it harder to find gainful employment?


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