got to read this ….lots of wisdom in it…LOL


“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drinkI feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and thinkabout the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopesand dreams If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be outof work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I sayto myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let theirdreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."~ Jack HandyWARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hellhappened to your bra and panties.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When theywake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’regoing to feel all day. "~Frank SinatraWARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”~ Henny YoungmanWARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?I think not."~ Stephen WrightWARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let’s allget drunk and go to heaven!"~ Brian O’RourkeWARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“Beer is proof that God loves us and wantsus to be happy."~ Benjamin FranklinWARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“Without question, the greatest invention in thehistory of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that thewheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel doesnot go nearly as well with pizza."~ Dave BarryWARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~To some it’s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can!~ Dave HowellWARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite s e x without spitting.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin,of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here’s how it went:“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalocan only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And whenthe herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest onesat the back that are killed first This natural selection isgood for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by theregular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as theslowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as weknow, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers."WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

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