Compassionless Society

Where did everyone go? That’s what I wonder these days. It’s easier to be caring and loving when you don’t see one another face to face. You can say anything.

If a person you know suddenly changes, isn’t who they used to be in your eyes, it’s much easier to stop being around them, isn’t it? No one really likes change. Not as much as they might say. It’s uncomfortable, like running in the dark, and you seldom get to pick the speed you’re going.

I’ve become more understanding over the past few years. Either that, or I’ve lost a huge amount of faith in mankind. I think I can say I am feeling more lemony and acidic these days. Even if I open up, it rarely does much good. I’m not some pretty picture afterall and besides, what is it I’m ultimately hoping for? Well, I think I know.
Compassion, True Thoughtfulness, putting one’s money where their mouth is, so to speak.

Here I am, feeling the need to be a teacher yet again, even when I’m in no position to teach. All I’m doing is trying to take it in, pay attention and maybe, just maybe, learn.. I feel more like a scientist these days. I usually find myself watching my life, rather than living it, as if I’m holding a pad of paper, jotting down interesting notes. Here’s the part where I should be laughing. Oh! I think my body used to spark when I was touched there! That flower, I used to feel the color of lilac. Where did I go?

I was talking tonight about the sadness. It has weighed me down, always threatening to topple me and I get so tired of trying to stay upright. So, is life truly yin and yang, and if you don’t hold as much happiness and joy as you do sadness, you become unbalanced, unable to get up again?

It can happen. I watch it inside me. It’s not pity, it’s sorrow, for what can not ever be again, for someone who should be here now, I don’t care what anyone says otherwise. My son should be here. But he’s not. Back and forth goes my brain, to and fro, like a tennis ball in an endless match. One side’s winning. The other looks for openings, makes a point, then collapses from the energy it required just to keep in the game.

Bet you’re tired of reading this. Bet I’m tired of writing it. Go to sleep. That’s what we do best, when it’s all too much to take…….

Compassionless Society

Karen Hazelwood

Florence, United States

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