A New Life

I entered the one room cabin and circled around desperately searching for television or even a coffee maker….nothing. It was ok, I had a bed, a stove, a warm fire and books that was all I really needed. I mean, that is why I came to Ireland, to get away, find out who I was and enjoy being young, single and confident.
Oh who was I kidding? I rented the cheapest cabin in Ireland I could find and jumped on the first flight all because of my boyfriends new found obsession….Sydney. So after that happened I needed to get away and decided to go to Ireland. I know I little extreme, but I had always wanted to go to Ireland for a month after college, write, and be completely isolated. But somewhere between my bright and confident high school years and now, I lost all my confidence and gumption to actually do it, until now. Because I had stumbled across that teen age spunk I had that required no boys and no drama. Well I hadn’t found it yet but I was bound to here, in Ireland. So I settled, switched off the light and let my mind wander until I finally forcefully fell into a restless sleep.
The next morning I woke up, slid on my favorite pair of jeans, although they were paint splattered and ripped on the side, and then about six layers of sweaters. I grabbed my cloth shopping bag and crawled out the door. I was about to go to the only general store in this minuscule town and I was about to go alone. As I was wondering what went wrong in my life that placed me here, in Ireland, alone and shopping, when in walked the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. Intense eyes, messy hair, and chiseled features, he strutted in and placed himself behind the cash register. This was it, I knew there was a reason I came to Ireland. I was meant to find him, it was fate that I came to this store on the same day he did. I hustled to grab all the other supplies I needed for what I hoped to be me and cash register boy’s first dinner together, and hopped in line. Once I was up in the front I started to talking to him and I was in full throttle flirt mode when he over politely asked me to move alone because of the awaiting customers. I look behind me, there was no one behind me. I felt humiliated, grabbed my bags and stomped out the door, only to have one of the bags rip open on me and out flooded a bottle of champaine me and whats his name were going to have. This kinda thing always happens. I could say you could blame is on my neglecting mother were was a spaz and a clutz like me, but I knew it was also just me and my luck.
Though I should have I didn’t give up, the next day this nice man was walking his dog. He was much better then cash register boy, this guy was kind and gentle and ok not all the amazing looking but hey I’m not shallow. Anyway I was just walking up to him and about to pour out some dog stories I had when I look over and my rental car was being stolen by three teenage boys. So in the middle of introducing myself I have to chase my car down the street with no avail and no the nice man did not help me.
That was it I was over men, I finally stumbled across that attitude I had in high school ok I more like crashed into it. But none the less I was independent and free.
The next week I read novels, wrote a lot, drew and was the happiest I had ever been. It was time again for me to go shopping, I slipped into a sweater dress, some tennis shoes and a jacket and skipped out the door. The air was cold against my face and I felt great. For once in my life I truly needed no one but myself in order to make my self happy. Mabye that is why I knew I needed to come to Ireland, so not only I could find out who I was but also find me. I had lost the great part of me so long ago and finally found it again and couldn’t have been happier.

A New Life


Joined March 2008

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