juddarwin 13 re written SWALLOWS PREVIOUS anzac blues

mustta ben worse than that, definitely than ‘shell shock’ ing
a bloke: ma foot now did its down trod next a pair of eyes
…floating yokes… yes ‘n this trench o blu! ’eav’n: yes’erday
couldna get ma boot outta watt were a rib cage broke ’n…

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then the comp played up would not return to the writing page
to now write some now having scanned the post as having writ
thought all sorts of things ’gin when upped ‘virtual memory low’ box
couldn’t get to desktop to removesome icon things off
wanted to plod making its step the comp speed was trying
to work my importants! the wrong way me having to be
in the best of moods!… \ always twinkle twinkle little star! \
mind as mozart prescribed:…: ok not! doing the long walks! . . .
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if! have always prescribed long walks with a lot of stops as
the assurred way of spending callories \ loosing weight with
an other [even these not pairing for/with me… hey!!] got
mixed up with what i was saying \ was going to, there: yes
with another person to accompany/mutualise! \
getting to know you \ harmonise into opera duets \
all fine days doing to other as wouldst be done to ism
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rabbit rut foods and jigsaws of pill daily perscribes of

daibetes and stroke that luckily only leaving me
mispronouncing one, two, words still feeling lip
twitches reminding/threatening as as my body half
paralysed into half (making me think of my caree
helen, who is some but not as much as usual/others…)
oh! god! i shouting it out to the porch of the doctor’s
ears who prescribed the procedure despite me post stroke then
then he quickly delegated me to the general
ward away from post operation me not yet saying
that as soon as the paralysis snake side wound down soon
after my shout as though my brain still included few
mehanisms used when my mind used to connect achieved
distance otherly/outwardly than from ‘self’ prefixes
as though singularly proving a determinism
of behaving/thinking like aliveness/existence were
only within \ where we see \ whom/what we want \ terrestrial . . .,
now else whence ly the paralysis snake wound backwardly
as though _tailing_home to mid low lip of sometime murmurs
a white coat of neuro- ward later visiting me file
in hand ball penning officiously the file on that board
they all tote as though \ because the desk too heavy: i see
the huge desk in his palm take him as one who helps nurses
but sits he down declaring self as dr of neuro
medicine instead naming my specialist dr and
saying he is a very good doctor _soo he heard i’d not
paralysed although from post op observation henced me
so as to not be observed while i was\ paralysis
set in \ was in progress… _yes influenced by my many
unprogresed works in progress (was becket joyce’s stalin
[they still don’t know how lenin really died!] ?) came in a poem
by much read yevtushenko not even he getting it;
this neuro doc he wanted me to sign in to his ward
for how long until he deems me cured otherwise my life
be in the hand of chance: now i see the doc influence
and how easily i would have soon giv’n in all things else vague
and say it was all mostly luck that i’m not hospitalised
even had to fight them for my thirteen pills each morning
seven more per ev’ning counting my shouting as assault
against their no tolerance policy having to turn
the other cheek and stay post stroke/diabetic pills deprived
open to more than already post op procedure probs
the problematics of did they want no hinderance to
their care \ was their watch convenient/convenience for/to haps
imminent \ already hospital perscribed against like
i venturing out quicksmart my elder brother i think driving
(now i’d opt for free board & lodging long as i be let/
allowed my lap top to freely write all day uncensored)
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what what what what what what what atwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat?
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what two do walking stopping walking… drippng callories
be what oughtta my regularity be too being the
pleasure of losing weight with thee thing amazes me what
some jenny can do for them than spin themselves instead in/
to cyclic returns ‘stead o’ to havens soon misspelt \ smells
kennellic yea already as in return to p and
then always eden ‘twas there all sorts o’ trees than apple
rhetoric’s sometime sinful now saleable/unforbidden
.
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madness this madness to man by man with newspeaks’ 2nd 3rd 4th(?) try
the first the tyrant/witchdoctor not which one plato’s philosopher king also reading meaning/codes otherly decided evidential
indoctrinationing ridiculously successful
ly repeating the present/(future?) when!/now? when reason
will whim then & metaphorical the carrots luring
charging when hewn into forests full of cacti waiting
just knew this had nought/see? to do with talking sensible
.
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but i watched anzac films all that day until hot seat time
even enjoyed watching them say their piece from/whatever
their site/narrative/pride/woe/loss/achievement/portrayal
remembering a previous year’s site’s potraying grey hair
reading a letter from a uniformed they had not shown
but ghosts of infantry airforce navy flooded across
her \ the screen uniformed at work postrate supine foetused
often more than one uniform down on the ground each in
star unspangled positions facing heaven but heads slumped
sideways eyes saying what the fuck! if open (if still there!)
bodies pulled out of the water by fishermen i feel
like naming peter i was pleased couldn’t see uniform
it’s last pulling off as he was pulled out he still gasping . . .
the grey haired person was pressing the letter to her breast
good. no one knows for whom thy tears fall; no one knows whom the fishermen from the seas pulled alive
………………………………………………………..there’s a popular
memorial (war?)poetry refrain grafitti replacement
(post world war one repatriation hospital toilet)
the repat.hosp in perth much rebuilt replaced moved a bit
still has that out apart building made into hollywood
primary school probably the mortuary the nearest
building to the war cemetary, now only holding
things and the teacher’s canteen the pupils in new builds
the soldiers were billeted at the university
the road to repat. is kanimbla the road along is
monash which turns into smyth rd to the war memorial
in the still pagan/ edenic bush where bird still laughs at man
no houses there now were there then they thrice then were buried
in the ground in the bush but first buried in uniform
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“musta ben shat out
arse at first told me”
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juddarwin
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juddarwin 13 re written SWALLOWS PREVIOUS anzac blues

juddarwin

Joined June 2009

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