John Sunderland

New York, United States

Yorkshireman. Designer, writer, poet, artist, riddler, curator, urban walker, bathroom-cleaner, table-setter and napkin-folder. New York...


Journal Entry 15
23 December 2009

From UAP Headquarters:
Well that special time is here again when we get together with our families and try our best to remember who they all are.
We hope nonetheless that you have a wonderful festive season and make friends again with your children and relatives.
And in the spirit of Christmas we thought you would like this festive poem sent to us
From Barbara and Dave ‘Bullet’ Thompson, Plankers from Lansing, Michigan…..


We love the family at Christmas
With all their fun and cheer
When grandma has a whisky
Makes a change from all that beer
And grandad breaks wind
and scares the cat
and kissing cousins Paul and Jenny
are getting too close on the mat

Remember last year Uncle Bill
had his fill of Christmas pie
how we all sat round and watched him die
And the newly weds
Wrapped their gifts whilst at it still in bed
I love that feeling of bonhomie
That special bond of family love
It’s like a blessing with a twinkle
Sent down to us from above

This year we’ve got special presents
Not some sickly cheap and sparkly plastic
But things they’ll think are quite fantastic
Super-glue for the babies
A jar of strawberry organic napalm for uncle Joe
Extra strength sticky toffee
We hope will keep Teds mouth well shut
And we’ve got a new bolt for the hut
Where in a bag the twins we’ll put
The games we’ll play will be such fun
Dodging bullets from dads gun

What a riot is uncle Whyatt
hope the sutures this year keep him quiet
and aunty May
who’s nerves are shredded
is getting something
she always dreaded
Under the tree
Our dog will pee
As our voices raising higher
Carols and sirens as it catches fire

It’s that time of year
For special family cheer
And sharing caring
Now’s the time to bury
First though
careful you have to catch it
Like Dave who’s not spoken to his son
For ten long years
For what he done
And Sisters Sue and Sal
Who both married the same pal

So let’s raise a glass
Of Christmas Cheer
And Thank our lucky stars
It comes round
Just once a year!

*Thanks to the Thompsons for that. Happy Christmas Plankers everywhere

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