Blame Game

Let’s call it the blame game. Know what I’m talking about? You blame me while I blame you. No one wants to take responsibility for their actions. “I’m sorry” is spread too thinly, and tears are shed far too quickly. The hurt comes fast, the reaction harsh, and the aftermath lasts far too long. Yeah, I blamed you. For way too long. And then I reacted, probably a bit too harshly. I wrote some things which you always assumed were about you. But honestly, they weren’t. Some where, I’m not going to lie. And some where about things you’ll never know about. Not that you care. Or maybe you do. I should probably stop assuming the worst in you. And I’m sorry I did. But if you saw things from my side, maybe, just maybe you’d understand. So I’ll stop blaming you if you stop hating me. Don’t say you don’t, I know you do. And just so you know, I’m already over the whole thing. I was just trying to get your attention. But you just kept blowing me off. Pushing me further and further out of your life. Hey, you wanted me to stay in it. It would have been a lot easier if you had just let me not try to be friends with you. Telling me you wanted to stay friends was far worse than just telling me the truth. Anyway, I’m over you. And I’m sorry for all the mean things I said. I went too far. I understand. And this probably makes you more angry, probably makes you think I’m dragging up even more of the past. But, if you ever even find this, it means your the one looking for it. Cause you delated me from your life, and if you found this, it means your still looking at my life from a distance, still watching me. So don’t tell me to get out of the past when you haven’t left it either.
I’m not going to stress over you anymore. It isn’t worth it. I tried to work something out, but you just ignored it.
And by the way, this is the LAST of the past that I want to drag up. This is my good-bye to the mean angry poems that I should have stopped writing. And by the way, I wasn’t stalking you, wasn’t looking for stuff to make me upset. It came my way. Don’t forget, friends have eyes, friends have ears. I didn’t take things and blow them out of proportion. I was told about them, I saw them. Whatever it is you think about me, half of it is probably not true. But I’ll let you keep your thoughts. Just one thing, one little thing. Calling me not a Christian? Yeah, that hurt. I may not be the best person in the world (and when did I ever profess to be one?), but I"m trying to be a BETTER person. I have made a lot of mistakes. And I used this place because I thought you would NEVER see it. But you came and found it. And yeah, I write too much. And there is too much on here. But that’s me. I take things too far, then I calm down and let it dissolve. Slowly. I’ve been working on it for a while. Perhaps I say that too much. So I’m going to stop blaming you. Okay? I’m going to quit the Blame Game. If you’d like to keep playing, that’s your proagative.

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