She put him away today
in a 12” x 24” box
that fit so neatly under her bed.
He had done it again,
left her to pick up the
pieces of her broken heart
(and memories that took up residence on shelves and walls).
Sometimes, when she closed her eyes,
she could still remember the hint
of Curve that lingered at her nostrils,
the unopened bottle testament to
their future………
now neatly tucked away between postcards and photobooth pictures.
For so long she held on,
not knowing why or how,
just knowing that she missed him.
The tear-stained cheeks proof enough that
her heart was shattered beyond repair……..
an open bottle of over-the-counter sleeping pills
reminder of just how deep the pain went.

She put him away today,
despite reluctance and confusion
almost clouding common sense.
Anger replacing desperation,
introversion shattered by the
click of a camera shutter.
His insecurities still eager to damage
what was left of them,
things that couldn’t fit in her memory box…….
things his pride wouldn’t admit to her
until she had started to move on.
The dream engagement ring and
handmade scrapbook mere lies of what they could’ve been.
For how could they build a life on his fallacies?

She put him away today,
because he couldn’t love her the way
she needed to be loved.
The memory of his fingers grazing her skin
as they made love
now disgusting her instead of delighting her.
How could she be naïve?
How could she have given up her innocence
to a man who couldn’t even tell her “I love you”
every day?
So many questions he refused to answer,
yet found time and solace in another woman’s arms
while she laid there motionless for days…….
a mere ghost of the person she used to be.

She put him away today,
as her heart discovered a new path.
And he didn’t push her for the details,
only the love and honesty in her heart.
Slowly but surely,
pieces of her returned.
Beautiful words poured from her pen,
painting the life she had always dreamed.
The pain of her past a reminder of what she never wanted again.
Brilliant blue eyes and shimmering intellect replacing
belittling comments and cold, callous countenance.
Her future brighter she had ever dreamed,
as she shared her life with _him_……..
his attentiveness and empathy proof enough
that her choices were wise.

She put him away today,
as she saw him one last time.
The memories all packed away,
fighting a memory she began to erase.
He would never understand her pain,
even as his pride failed him
and he tried to prove his worth.
She had found someone who would love her better……..
and genuinely.
One final hug.
One final kiss.
One final goodbye.
Even walking away after so long
was harder than she knew,
tears blurring her eyes and choking her thoughts.
His family could hate her………
their friends could shun her………
but none of it mattered.
They were done and that was that.

She put him away today,
as friends let her heal
the last of her pain.
Newly found love wiping away the tears and past with the
flick of a hand and a gentle embrace.
A new hope………
A new dream……..
A new day began the day
she put him away.

Journal Comments

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