My Dad

I decided to share this today because I realized that today it’s been Three Months since my Dad left. Three months. I can’t believe it. I hate realizing I haven’t hugged him or held his hand or seen his blue eyes in that long…I hate it so much. I miss him so so badly. My heart just has this hole…this huge hole.

I wrote this about a year and a half ago…
(Forgive my grammer in a lot of it…At the time I was crying because I was thinking of him going back to TN and being so far from him…)

My Dad.
If you ask my dad, he`ll tell you that he`s nothing special. He`ll tell you that he worked hard, but so did everyone else around him. He`ll tell you that anything he did, he did because anyone would do it for their family. He`ll tell you he did it because he wanted to see us happy. He`ll tell you that nothing he`s done was that big of a deal or any different than anyone else around him. He`ll tell you that he`s not that great, not the smartest guy and he`s made a lot of mistakes. He`ll tell you that he`s like everyone else.

I`d tell you a lot differently.

I`d tell you that my Dad is the greatest person I know. I`d tell you that he Did work hard everyday, he worked so hard that he`d come home and just be plain worn out and fall asleep in his chair after dinner. He worked harder than a lot people. I`d tell you that he went above and beyond for his family and who he cared about. I`d tell you that I can`t count the number of times anymore where he went without so that I could have something or be taken care of. I`d tell you that he put off worrying about himself, because I needed to be worried about. I`d tell you that he`d never miss a day of work, even when he was sick and it was snowing out. I`d tell you that he`s put up with a lot from me and from life in general over the years….and all the time, he`s never felt sorry for himself really and if he has, it`s only been for a moment or two and then he`ll say “Well, a lot of people have it a lot worse off than I do…so I don`t have anything to complain about”. I`d tell you that no matter how hard and down we got and how much the world seemed to just keep throwing at him, he`s kept on fighting and trying to make things better. I`d tell you about all the times he`s laughed and been silly with me, even though people don`t see that side of him much. And how funny he is, when he does show that side. I`d tell you about how heartbroken he was when he`d miss my brother a lot of times and him shedding some tears over it because it was just hurting him so much. I`d tell you about seeing him cry over seeing me so upset over my dog getting killed on my birthday. I`d tell you about how that same year he brought me a brand new bike home for my birthday and it made my whole life at the time. I`d tell you about how he`s always bent over backwards to help other people and be caring. I`d tell you how he always felt bad that he couldn`t give us more than he did. I`d tell you about all the great stories he has from when he was younger. I`d tell you that I just recently found out that he always dreamed of being an Architect, but didn`t think he was smart enough to do it. I`d tell you that he`s a lot smarter than he gives himself credit for and throughout my lifetime has come up with a lot of cool little inventions and ideas for things….bringing me to believe now, that he would have probably been a great Architect. I`d tell you that for as long as I can remember all he wanted was a tractor and a little farm to work with it on, and a shop to go do his woodworking – which he was also wonderful at…and he got so close and got it taken away and I don`t think he ever 100 got over it. I`d tell you about seeing him out with our horses, loving on them like he would the dogs. I`d tell you that he`s so much more than he realizes. I`d tell you that he`s my best friend and I could NEVER dream or imagine a better Dad than him. I`d tell you that he`s full of heart, imagination, grace, patience, caring and Love. I`d tell you that there`s no one like him. I`d tell you also, that I could come up with a thousand more wonderful things about him.
I`d tell you that I`m so happy to call him my Dad.

I miss you Dad. My Mentor, My teacher, My guiding light, My Best Friend….

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