a ranty rant about ranting.

i’m so done.
i’m sick of this.
no more games and bs.
i’m going from being hard to get
to don’t even look at me, asshole
i can’t help it.
i’m not saying they’re all the same,
but seriously,
it’s like 1 out of every 100 dudes is decent.
so, i guess i have to wait.
but some of them trick me.
every time i think i’ve found someone
real, they’re nothing but fake.
they lead me on with lines and
disappear when i come asking for more.

maybe it’s just because i’m home.
i’m away from the constant bombardment
of idiots at school but being here
makes me think about the past.

more than a few have come back
wondering if my door is still open.
and it’s not for loser boys who
have nothing better to do.
i’m not easy, so fuck whoever
told you i was.
even if you had me once doesn’t
mean i’ve been waiting for you.
i’m what you call a lost opportunity.
i know that’s hard for you to understand,
but it’s true. nonnegotiable.

so here i am. in the same rut i’ve been
in for about 2 years now still looking
up wondering when it’s gonna end.
i guess it’s fine if it doesn’t.
i’m starting to like being alone.

but i still wonder about you.
this is mostly about you.
the one that could be so perfect
but is too flawed to have.

we came together like
a lock and key, perfect fit.
we drifted quickly,
how can i get back?
silence was my reply.
so i gave you some hospitality;
served fresh cooked and sweet.
you seemed excited, giving me
a lot of internet attention.
the distance won’t allow for
accidental run ins or
easy hang outs.

you feed me constantly.
and when i said “i’m done”
you replied without hesitation.
just like i didn’t want you to,
i didn’t expect, but it’s not surprising.
i replied and you didn’t.
what the fuck did i expect?

do you know what i want?
you. broken, fucked up you.
you’re so stupid. i can’t fix you.
i don’t want to any more.

you’re a flirt. i can’t stand it.
anyone has a chance at you
but not many make it to your bed,
am i right? of course i am.

you’re lonely. that much i could fix.
but you’re not ready to throw your
loneliness out the window just yet.
no, you want to bask in it a little longer.
look at me, i’m so sad and alone.
someone please help me!
well, i’m not sending you a life preserve
this time buddy. you’re just going to
let it float away and drown in your misery.

do you know what we could have had?
exactly what you want. a healthy,
relaxed relationship. not to say that
we’d be dating. it would be a friendship
with all the benefits. i’m there when you
need me. to help you, smoke with you,
please you. hot damn, i’d even cook for you.
do you have ANY idea how good i am
at those things? you don’t do you.

maybe you sabotaged yourself
and you’re already regretting it.
you seem confused. do you know
how nice it could be just to wake up
and know that someones already thinking
about you? you really don’t.

i hope you smarten up and bull yourself
together quick. because soon my door
will be closed for you. confess to me, baby.
you know i could save you.

a ranty rant about ranting.


Joined July 2010

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