She had given him the wrong medication. She hadn’t realized this until after his death though. She had seen them take him out of the building on a stretcher, he was covered with a blanket. It was then that she had gone back and checked the log. She realized that she had misread it, and she had given him something that was meant for the patient that was above him in the log. She was panicked and scared. Mostly because she didn’t know what to do. Should she admit the mistake? No one knew as far as she knew, and she knew it meant severe consequences to her career and life if she did. Or should she just be silent and pretend not to know. She wasn’t even sure if it was the cause of his death. Would they catch it in the autopsy? Probably. Again she felt the cringe of fear. She kind of felt with all certainty that no matter what she did she was screwed. She decided to say nothing and wait. After all, she could not change her mistake, and if she admitted it, it would cost her her career probably, and without a doubt probably much more. She felt very guilty and horrible for what had happened. But she didn’t think they could prove that she had over medicated him by accident, and she didn’t even know if that had caused his death. He could have died from something else. And the accidental medicine might not have had anything to do with it. The next days at work were agony. They made a memorial for him, and they had a group meeting were people talked about him and their memories of him. She participated because not only did she like him and want to remember him, but she had to participate. It was part of her job. She felt eerily guilty though, like everyone knew and they were staring right at her and through her. But she knew this was all in her mind. They didn’t know. It was then that she really had to start lying. The coroner’s report had come out. It said that he had died of a heart attack, however the coroner had detected the medicine that wasn’t supposed to be in this man’s system, and the police wanted to know why he had this medicine in his system, it was not in his prescription log or on his chart. The police looked in the log at her work and saw that she was the last one to give him his prescribed medicines. So of course she was under their scrutiny and brought in for questioning. And she lied. She was terrified and she lied. She said that no, she had not given him this medication. That he had probably got it from one of the other patients. They did this all the time, you know. Swapping medications, and giving each other their prescribed medicines even though they were not supposed too. She asked if the medicine had caused his death? The police said no, however they said that the coroner had said that it could have been a contributing factor in his death. She left after the interview with the police, they couldn’t keep her, after all they could not prove anything and in fact she thought they believed her. She had always been good at lying and she hid her fear well. Some of her co-workers were suspicious of her story, but again no one could prove it. And everyone genuinely liked her, she was a nice person. No one would want to cause trouble for her. After a few weeks things started to get back to normal. She felt the fear slowly ebbing however the guilt was still there, but it was getting a little easier to deal with too. It all was slowly fading away, which she was so glad for because the scare of it all had almost killed her. She felt bad about what she had done, but she didn’t want to pay what the truth would cost. And it wasn’t something she normally did, she was very good at her job, it had just been a stupid mistake. Something that she never did. Things were just starting to get back to normal at work. She was leaving for the night. She was a pretty girl. She was single and sweet. Her friends were meeting her at a nice restaurant after work for dinner and a few drinks and she was hurrying to meet them. She was rushing across the street and she hadn’t noticed that the light had already changed. The car hit her hard. The car drove right over her. Then the car stopped and the driver got out. He saw that she was dead right away. He got back in the car and drove away quickly. She was dead, very dead. She had been hit with extreme force by a very fast and heavy moving machine. She didn’t look pretty anymore. A lot of her body had been crushed, and some parts of her body had been completely torn off by the force of the impact and the weight of the car. She laid there in the middle of the street for a long time. No one had seen the accident, and it had been on a not so busy street. It took a while for someone to come along and find her dead body.

He had felt the jarring of the impact. At first he hadn’t realized what had happened. But then his senses kicked into being and he realized that oh my God, I have just hit someone. He quickly looked around and saw that the street was vacant. He got out of the car and checked to see if she was still alive, but he knew she wasn’t. He had hit her too hard. He knew he should stay, but he was too scared. He got back into the car and quickly left. He felt really bad. But he knew that if he stayed it would ruin his life. He didn’t want vehicular homicide on his record. He already had things on his record that he didn’t want there, and he didn’t want to add anything. His gut wrenched. The next day he read the paper and he saw the story about the hit and run. They had a picture of her next to the story. She had been pretty. He felt really bad, but it had been a mistake, and he didn’t want to pay what the truth would cost. He turned the newspaper pages, and froze a little when he read his horoscope. It talked about karma. It said that anything that he had done in the last week or so would come back to him, whether it be negative or positive. He put the newspaper down. He was shaking. He told himself this was just a silly horoscope, and there couldn’t be any truth in it. However, he needed to unwind, the stress was just too much for him. He thought he had probably gotten away scot-free however there was always going to be that fear that the police would come knocking at his door, and he didn’t like the police. One of the reasons he hadn’t seen her until it was too late was because he had been drinking. He was going to go drinking again right now to unwind, but he was going to be sure not to have to many. At this point in time, his guard was up. He went to a pub he frequented often. He met a really attractive woman there that he had talked to before. They were casual friends. He had hit on her before, but she had turned him down. This time however, she was a little drunk, so he bought another drink, and they talked for a while. She invited him back to her place, and they started making out. She was drug user. She wanted to know if he would like a shot of heroine to make their love making more enjoyable. He had never done this before, but she reassured him that a little wouldn’t hurt him. So he decided to do it. She shot him up, and he died. She was totally freaked out. She didn’t know why. She had made a mistake and she had injected him with air too, besides the drug, and it had gone straight to his heart and caused his immediate death. All she knew for sure was that she was stuck with a dead guy in her apartment. She wasn’t about to call the police and tell them she was shooting this guy up with drugs. She felt bad and really guilty. She had liked him very much. She was scared to death. She knew that people had seen them leaving the pub together. What was she going to do? She wrapped his body up in some blankets and put him in her shopping cart that she used when she went grocery shopping. She knew that everyone would think she just had groceries. She hoped that no one would look to close. Then she took his body to where she knew a lot of people did drugs in a dark alley behind some seedy businesses. She made sure no one was around and she quickly dumped his body. Then she went back to her apartment and scoured everything, trying to make sure there were no traces that he had been there. It didn’t take long for them to find him. She read about it in the paper the next day. She felt nauseous. The next day the police came to her door. They said they wanted to ask her a few questions regarding the death of this man. She let them in, and they started questioning her. She said that yes a few days ago, they had had some drinks together at a local pub, and that they had left together. However they had gone their separate ways after a short walk. She said that she was sorry to hear about his death, but that she had heard from the other people at the pub that he was a user. She told the police that was actually why she had not been with him the rest of that night, because he had wanted her to go do drugs with him. She was a former user and she was trying to quit, so she had said her goodbyes to him and she had left. She knew the police knew about her drug habit, and she thought it made her look better to present it as part of her story. She lied well. She felt as cold as a stone. She knew that if she let them smell any fear it would mean major trouble for her, and she had already been to prison once for drugs. She didn’t want to go back. After the police left, she went into the bathroom and threw up. She thought they had believed her, but she wasn’t sure. She had this weird feeling, like somehow this wasn’t going to go away or turn out well for her. Even if she had convinced the police she felt that somehow there was a shadow hanging over her head. She had heard of Karma before, but she had never believed in it. But somehow she had this all encompassing cold premonition that something bad was going to happen to her. She felt horrible. It had just been a mistake. A stupid mistake.


Copyright ©2008 JANE Á PARIS



Joined February 2008

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Artist's Description

This is just a story about karma, that is all -
Karma -Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

Kar"ma\, n. [Skr.] (Buddhism) One’s acts considered as fixing one’s lot in the future existence. (Theos.) The doctrine of fate as the inflexible result of cause and effect; the theory of inevitable consequence.

Artwork Comments

  • AmandaWitt
  • JaneAParis
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