I threw myself away…

he kept referring to me as garbage while he kept me in bondage
according to them my mind is full of garbage and my spirit has no courage
that is their big heavy duty insult if you don’t think like they do
and of course they are the normal ones, there is no sense to argue
I wasn’t garbage and I’m not garbage, but that doesn’t matter
it doesn’t matter what I say, how I feel or how much I chatter

I threw myself away…

and still I find no peace or understanding on my way
the days roll into one another and upon me heavily they weigh
because I am extremely ill and I have become so very tired
I have become someone else, someone who is always wired
it wasn’t just him, but of all the unkind people who use me and target me
they call me names, abuse me and tell me that I am not free

so I’ve thrown myself away…

where no one cares what I do or what I say
where no one cares if I make any headway
and time goes by one uneventful day after another
I realize that I have no one else, just myself, no other
I put my thoughts and feelings into the bin of my mind
where only I am and I know that it is safe to unwind

I might be capable of loving you as in a breakthrough
but what is at the forefront and what is for me an issue
is don’t expect me to trust you, I know I am just a jackscrew
I know I am a dead dog with a huge backlog
and I know what you are a bird-dog, a bird-dog
you are just a very little man in a yellow rain coat
in a sea of little men that are cutthroats… to note
I have the sick realization that I am nothing but a scapegoat


Copyright ©2008 JANE Á PARIS



Joined February 2008

  • Artist
  • Artwork Comments 5

Artist's Description

This is about not being able to find peace, understanding, intimacy and/or trust.

Artwork Comments

  • Heath30
  • JaneAParis
  • Heath30
  • Ushna Sardar
  • JaneAParis
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