How come?

How come the lamps in china town are red?

How come when I wake up my face is on the pillow?

If someone loves me, will they love my pillow too?

How come the word for flesh in french is chair?

How come van in french means horse trailer?

Is it bad to wonder why, or should we just accept everything the way it is?

I don’t think it is bad to wonder why, that is why I get in so much trouble…

I don’t like the system, should I like a system that negates me as a human being?

Why am I so difficult? Did I get an extra difficult gene? When I finally get my way do I really want it? Maybe I just want you to really love me, meaning real and respect…so sorry…whoever you are…Mr. French Banana…

I know why I am difficult, I am mad, because they are unfair…extremely unfair…I shouldn’t put myself down…the truth is, I was punished for being dependent, even though they allow me nothing else truthfully, and even though I performed a very difficult and necessary function, that of full-time mother and housewife, and I did it extremely well even though I was extremely ill. The REAL truth is they won’t allow me anything else but dependency because they are keeping me powerless, and they also abused me and my children by making me care for them ill. That is why I have fought so hard…because I love my children and I wanted to give to my children, as others do…I was angry because I am not allowed to see them and I am being made obsolete in their lives…but has this all cost me someone that I loved…I don’t know, probably not, he doesn’t even know how to use a real telephone, so he doesn’t care, and it is just people playing with my mind, there is nothing left but fried jello between my ears…they are very cruel to play with my mind, emotions and health. They are killing me, by playing with my health and denying me health care, thus depriving my children of their mother’s support, love and future gifts and presence. They also deny me personal power. Other people use it all the time because they have rights, but I am being denied this even though I have rights too…because they lie, manipulate, and keep me in a cage…


Copyright ©2008 JANE À PARIS



Joined February 2008

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Just wondering…

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