Joined February 2008

I have a deep love for expressionism – ‘Expressionistic artist sought to develop pictorial forms which would express their innermost...

Email to Alan

Hi Alan, just saying hi. I am on artbreak right now looking at other people’s art and listening to Francois Hardy, God she was, and still is Great. I am listening to Voila. I love her. I wish I was free and healthy, I am so tired of my life. Mostly because I am so sick. Does your family need a slave by any chance? I just don’t want to be here anymore. I hate the police and this country, so sorry, not really, it is my home, but yet it really isn’t my home. It is a place where I have been tortured and abused for years and years. They threatened to throw me out on the street. It is kind of funny. They won’t let me do anything, they ruin everything I do, work, or whatever, and now they are going to put me on the street. Maybe I can go into street performance. Like pretending I am a statue or something. People actually do this and get money for it too. Although it would be nice to take a shower once in a while. My life is so insane Alan. And I am not the one making it that way. Other people could just leave me alone and do the right thing – heal me and let me have some peace, but they refuse to. And my life just gets worse and worse. I always dream of art though. It is my dreams of art that I have kept me going through all the years of torture. I want my life to get better but I do not know how to accomplish this since I am being intentionally held down, and I am so sick I can not defend myself. If I was not sick I would just leave again.

I hope things are going well for you. I love looking at the picture you sent me of your backyard. I bet your homeland is wonderful. You are so proud of it too, that is what I really enjoy about a lot of what you do in your art. I have not been to your site for a while so I will have to drop in. I hope you do not give up on me, I am having a hard time right now. I am fighting a very evil monster Alan. They can do anything to me and they do. They have made me very sick and tired. I do not want to die, for I love life very much. I am very sick and they pretend this is not the case. They lie about everything and always make me desperate. They try to control everything I do, and they destroy everything I do. I do not want to be desperate anymore. I wish so much they would leave me alone and do the right thing and heal my body and let me have peace. But they just keep at me with their impossible games and lies. If they do not provide health care for me Alan, I will die. They really are jeopardizing my health. And they have threatened to throw me out in the street like a dog, but of course to them that is what I am, A DOG. They could just heal me and leave me in peace, but oh no, for some reason this has to go on and on. And VOILA, this is then my life, a very miserable existence, the only real friend I have in close proximity is art. Phasing out doing art keeps me alive for a little while each day. And sending you an email every once in a while. I hope that you are doing well. I will drop in on your site in the next couple of days. I have not been there for a while. Forgive me, I go all over the place and I also have been very stressed out about my situation. It is very hard to be me. Especially when I see other artists and people on the internet that have normal lives, no one is abusing them, hounding them, torturing them, and etc. They are happy, successful, creative people on the internet from Norway, England, Ireland, India, or wherever and they are FREE. FREE. FREE. Oh so FREE. FREEDOM. No one is hurting them, or threatening them, or controlling them, or denying them, or shitting on them, or playing with their minds. And I wish that I was them and where they are. Where you are.

Enjoy your health, freedom, and family Alan. Love and live every day to the fullest. I hope to hear from you soon. I am going to go back to Francois Hardy now and Voila.

Voila, Smiles from Jane:-)

Journal Comments