Fuck Up

I thought everything
Would be perfect
With my perfect man
At my side

But I fucked up

He wants me to
Be gone
And in all honesty
I can not blame him

Because I fucked up

I still want
Us to work out
Because I’ll never love another
I just want him

But I fucked up

It is all my fault
I take full responsibility
But I just want him to know
I’ll only love him

But I fucked up

I am young and misunderstanding
I am selfish and naive
If anything, I have learned
Love is not complete without my Ashley

But I fucked up

And now he wants me
To go back home
But this is my home
I am not welcome anywhere else

Because I am a fuck up

I never wanted to hurt him
I never wanted to cause pain
I never wanted all this regret
I never wanted unhappiness

But I fucked up

I tried to say that I was sorry
With all the sincerity
I could muster
But he can not forgive me

Because I am a fuck up

I just want him
To be happy
If it is not with me
Then I guess I should leave

Because I fucked up

I really wanted this to work
I really wanted to be happy
But only with my Ashley
Was I ever truly happy

But I fucked up

Now things can never
Go back to the way
It should have been
And it is all my fault

Because I am a fuck up

©Beanie’s Poems from a Lifetime
April 26, 2009

Fuck Up

JailBird08

Portland, United States

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