A repeat of former situations? Cause this right here, is causing major contemplations. Or is it me? Am I overreacting? Jealous over a baby? That can’t be happening. NEVER! Intimidated by what could be with Mommy, eh, we’ll see….. (maybe)

I never saw it coming. From the offered up vows of “it could never be….again”, to the “I love you’s” and the “I know you love me’s.” So why do I feel so mislead and deceived? It’s been 60 hours since we last spoke….yes 60. From Sat. at 4A to today at approximately 4P it will have been…..60. And though I’m not intentionally counting, I doubt it will end. Some may think I’m being petty or even selfish, but how do you combat mental brain washings of “I LOVE YOU…..I NEED YOU….I AM THE ONE FOR YOU…..YOU ARE MY DESTINY” from day 1, not 3….but since the actual moment you first saw me.

I….slowly….let my guard down, and let you feed me. ….and continued to eat until I felt full and complete. Right now, my stomach aches pondering what ifs of lies and deceit. The plate may have been a fake, but if served up right, who could tell…. now, all I want to do is yell “THIS FOOD IS FUCKING DISGUSTING, I WANT TO SEE THE CHEF”….and out scurries a mouse, and I’m thinking, What The Eff??? No wonder this shit is nasty, I’ve got a rat cooking my food….and all the while I thought it was you.

HOPE, falseness, TRUTH, lies, LONGEVITY, brevity, LOVE, lust…. games, REALITY. Why can’t these capitols overshadow their meek, (weak), inverted counterparts when the Sun shines so brightly over them? Glistening in the light, hell, SHIT will glisten if you sprinkle it with gems.

Damn, can’t stop my stomach from turning. What used to bring me bliss now feels like I’ve been hit with a fist, and it’s burning….straight to the gut. I’m so sick; I could throw up! Or rather regurgitate this hate that is beginning to fester within. I thought you were my twin, though you are a “him”… Maybe you are, so by far, how could I be wrong? Though considerate, compassionate and patient I don’t really know how long I can go on or take it. 60 hours and 27 minutes…..we running marathons ya’ll, but there is no winning. Who’s to blame in this crazy situ(ation). Me for dealing …or is it YOU?



Wilmington, United States

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