Hidden Behind Your Eyes

The piano begins to drone, droning on the keys that let out a dull murmuring when played as though an air of angst is being released. Violins would start playing too – and playing beautifully at that. No scratching as the bow meets the strings. They play gloriously in harmony with one another and the tempo begins to accelerate. Tears would be delicately falling from the heroine’s face.

It’s in that moment that you reflect on your own life, soul, relationships and heartache and you weep, so delicately too… Straining to stop those tears from revealing the secrets that are locked so tightly behind your eyes.

You muster the strength day-in, day-out to hold that elegant composure that you’ve effortlessly managed to master. You have many a face and a front to show to the world, to show that you’re just fine. You’re there when looked upon at face value but inside, you’re distant.

The tempo increases, it’s jazzier, faster and the piano shifts upwards and the dull mumuring of the keys stops and it’s harder and stronger. Our heroine’s tears have subsided, her skin red; blotched; raw.

It’s when you’re attempting to conquer your own personal demons and you’re constantly failing. Frustration is searing through your very self, from one extremity to another. And your demons, they hurt you. They batter and bruise you, biting away at your soul, clamping your hands across your mouth. Anything you have to say is irrelevant. It’s a million against one. The psychological damage isn’t preventable.

You say you’re not depressed and you probably aren’t – you wouldn’t dream of letting yourself lose to them. You have to continue with the same routine every day and pick a face and a front to disguise your inner pain. You have to continue to lock up those secrets and keep them hidden behind your eyes and you have to go back to those demons and fight once more.

Our heroine isn’t so dissimilar from the rest of us and I guess there’s no meaning to this, no pivotal ending, no realisations to be had just an elaborate set of metaphors aiming to depict a life that we all know. That’s all it is, it’s just a portrayal of the courage we muster every day to fight. There’s no happy ending. There’s not even a story. That’s all it is.

Hidden Behind Your Eyes

isabellalevi

Joined July 2010

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