Waiting for Writer

Can I have a cup a tea…
to pour on your head?
“Is that what I get for giving you a cup a tea? Are you gonna tell me__ If didn’t give you a cup of tea, which would be rude of me… you would have never poured tea on me. Are you to say that if I was mean to you, you would be nice to me?”
I like when people are mean to me.
I just do, why, you like when people are nice to you…
“yea, who doesn’t?”
“you’re weird.”
No, I’m eirdw.
“I think that’s my que to leave.”
Leave? You have to be somewhere in order to leave. Where are you now? You’re on a computer screen getting typed by some deranged writer whose ego needs to be filled.
“So, what are you saying… we don’t exist? You’re crazier than I thought.”
Ok, fine, if we exist, then what’s your name?
“My name?”
Yes, your name, if you exist you should have a name.
“Uhhhh, my name is-”
Relax Slim Shady, you have no name, because there is no you.
“If there’s no “us” then how are we talking right now?"
We’re not talking, this is just some one typing up words.
“I think it’s my que to leave again.”
Don’t you get it, you have no choice to “leave.” He decides when if you stay or leave.
“How do you know “He” is a he?"
You think a female would write as bad as this?
“Good point. So… what do we do now?”
I don’t know, it’s up to the writer.
“can we write.”
It’s up to him.
“But I want to write.”
Ask him.
“Mr, he__writer-guy dude, can I write?”
He didn’t answer?
“No, I didn’t expect him to. So what do we do now?”
Samuel Beckett will tell us to Wait for Godot.
“Who’s Samuel Beckett and who’s Godot?”
It’s a long story.
“we got time.”
Time… they say time flies when you’re having fun, but what is time doing when you’re not? Does It crawl? Does it walk? Maybe it swims? Maybe time isn’t doing the flying or swimming, it’s us-
“What did you do with that tea?”
It’s on your head still.
“Can you drain my hair into a cup so I can drink it?”
You have no hair.
“Then what do you call these long, thin, things coming out of my head?”
You don’t know what hair is? And you called me crazy…
“I thought you said I had no hair.”
What’s hair?
“Can you drain this tea out of my hair so I can have a drink?’
No problem, why didn’t you ask before?
“I thought I did, oh well.”
What do we do now?

“Can I have the cup of tea now….
to pour over your head?”
Are you tring to be like me?
“Be like you, how can I be like you when we don’t exist? There is no you, remember?”
This tea tastes good.
“That’s my tea.”
It’s good. Oh, by the way, my name is….
“Relax Slim Shady.”
There you go again-
You’re trying to be like me.
“Me don’t exist.”
I don’t like you, you’re mean.
“I thought you like when people were mean to you?”
This tea taste good, I like tea.
’That’s mine."
It tastes good.

“Back to what you said before: if I was to have a name, would that mean I exist? If so… then I will call myself: pen. Good, now that I have settled that, I exist.”
“And I’ll call you Page,”
Never mind “Pen.”
“Good, now we exist, now what?”
We can have some coffee, I like coffee.
“Didin’t we just have tea?”

Waiting for Writer

Joshua Lindenbaum

Valley Stream, United States

  • Artist

Artist's Description

A play about nothing… I think. Well_ it has to be about something, right? Who cares anyway.

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