The Biggest Gainer

When I used to have a television, before I turned it into a washing basket and a 3D sculpture. I saw this weightloss program. And I thought: I’m going to have to have a chocolate bar while I watch this. Now, I was scared all these people would end up as skeltons at the end of the program and they did. It was so ugly.

My mum’s into dieting. I think everyone has a diet. However if you want to die et, that’s a role I don’t want to play.

Big Sister got mysteriously taken off the market when Big Brother came out. And in Australia Sera-maree came 3rd, she got a slice of the pud eh? Nice chubby rabbit on girl then had to weight watch. They give the funniest plays about food snookering. Lose weight do we? We’re an obese nation are we? Cut the fat. Tighten the belt. We are the bloody food belt!

Hey, I’m a hungry artist. I want to gain not lose!

So I made up a bit of a song:
You can eat more!
© Initially NO
The food is out there waiting
And the games are under way
We’re all competing
So we can gain
Get tucked into the main
And follow with a dessert
Then take a walk to the foreshore
And come back for more.

Who’s the biggest gainer?
The one with the most weight
Take your pick and lick and chew
It’s all about being great.

Got to have it inside
So to build a bigger bod
Desperate to get that last slice in
That’s the thinking
Pack it on and astound
Make yourself strong
Take up more room
And more to go around.

They’re all competing for one prize
To gain the largest size
They eat everything in their path
And throw their girth around.
Who will win?
That’s yet to be found.
Want to compete?
Just tell us why you want to eat.

Never have to be skinny again
Once you know how to be a gainer
Can’t put that any plainer.

Even got new mannequins
For the shop window display
Who are huge enough
To never be blown away.
And people say:
I want to try that on
I want to be fat
Exactly like that.

Who’s the biggest gainer?
The one with the most weight
Take your pick and lick and chew
It’s all about being great.

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