Anatomy of a text message

Hey, I just got this text message from my girlfriend, yeah that’s right I have a girlfriend and she’s real! Anywho I just got this text from my girlfriend and I cannot for the life of me figure out what it says, I mean it’s like she’s speaking another language! If I had to say which language, I would say Dutch or maybe Klingon or what’s that language they speak in Lord of the rings? Elvish? anyway it would be great if someone could translate it for me and get back to me about what it says, thanks…

Hi douchebag!

Dis r/ship isn’t wurkn ot so I tnk we shd c othr ppl, I dont <3 u ne mor. Ive alrdy met sum1 els so im kikin u outa da hous. U need 2 cum pik ^ yr stuf coz its lyn in da midL of da steet aftr I threw it outa da ^stares windo, its blokin da road, so cars cant gt thru bt it mite b ok coz sum thieves r takN sum of it now. I cn onestly sA da 3 mths we wer 2getha av bn da wrst of my lyf! Dnt contct me evr agn, av a gd lyf assface! Oh n FYI musicals r gA!

Sincerely

I h8 u!

Anatomy of a text message

Paul Hickson

Norwich, United Kingdom

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