Welcome to 2014

Hey there everyone hope you had a lovely Christmas. I can’t believe we’re in 2014 now! Sounds so futuristic doesn’t it?! And yet still no hover-boards… Yeah get it together scientists! I had a fairly quiet Christmas in all honesty, although I did have the premiere of my latest musical “My fair Stallone” at the local village hall. Only 8 people turned up, yeah, and they were only there because of the Parish county council meeting going on at the other end of the hall. The person taking down the minutes had a torrid time trying to distinguish between the issue of the new church window and Sylvester Stallone having elocution lessons. To be honest it wasn’t a great performance, half the cast weren’t even seasoned actors. Rex Harrison’s character was played by a cat; although surprisingly enough the cat gave the best performance. He packed his bags and flew off to Hollywood shortly after that, he got a walk on part in CSI. I was pretty depressed after the musical fiasco, so I just moped around watching old episodes of “Keeping up with the Kardashians”, which in itself is an incredibly depressing thing to be doing. So I mindlessly skipped from one channel to another until I came across an old American TV show from the 70’s called “Little house on the Prairie”. As soon as it appeared on the TV it was like the world became a much nicer place and all the annoyances from the past few days just floated away. So I watched an episode, and when that finished I watched another episode, then another, then another, until before I knew it I’d seen all 203 episodes and owned seasons 1-9 on DVD. I even had the theme tune as my ringtone. It was pretty safe to say I was obsessed. I wanted to be an Ingalls so badly, and live in Walnut Grove, and shop at Oleson’s Mercantile, and give that mean old Nellie Oleson a piece of my mind! I was watching it so much my friends and family were worried about me; so much so they sat me down one day and gave me an intervention. As I sat there with my Laura Ingalls’ pig tails wig on my head listening to what each one of them had to say, I slowly began to realise how much Little house on the Prairie had taken over my life; and I’m pretty certain Melissa Gilbert was getting sick of the constant fan letters I was sending her. So I agreed to give it up cold turkey; and so there I was back to watching Keeping up with Kardashians again. And once again out of sheer boredom I skipped from channel to channel in a vacant stare and… that’s when I discovered “The Waltons”. So as I write these words, dressed in my John boy replica dungarees, I just want to wish you all a happy and healthy new year, and I hope 2014 brings you success and joy in all your artistic pursuits.

much love
Paul Hickson

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