The unobtainable is always the most desirable

You’ve got to understand, I have had loads of girlfriends before, but none like
Emily.Harrington. Real classy like, if you know what I mean. Long blonde hair, big
blue eyes and legs that go up to her armpits.Wow! what a girl!!
With the others I have always kept them at bay, so to speak, you know, meet the
parents and then evaporate., but when Em said she would like to meet my mum I was
thrilled to bits.

We went to meet Doris my old mum, and Fred my dad on a Sunday. Best day for a
good meal. My mum makes the best Sunday lunch in the world, roast spuds,
Yorkshire pudding, the lot; with home-made apple pie and custard to finish you off.
What a blow out. They live down the Fulham Road, just off the high street. My mum
keeps her council house like a new pin. I’m real proud of my old mum,
We had a smashing day, my mum liked Emily, I could tell and when we left Em
kissed her on the cheek. Ah nice!
Then, Emily suggested I meet her folks. Well, why not?

Again it was a Sunday when we went in Emily’s little red roadster with the top down,
to visit her parents. She didn’t think it was right to go on the bike, what with the
leathers, goggles and helmets like.

We drove for miles, right into the country. It was lovely. There were cows looking
over the hedges and we even saw a donkey. You don’t see many of them down the
Fulham Road. We came to some big iron gates with eagles on the stone pillars, and
Em drove through them. I did think to myself ‘where the hell are we going?’ And then
I saw where we were going.
At the end of a long drive lined with huge trees there stood this dirty great house. Like
a castle it was. Turrets and all. This was Harrington Hall. Wow fancy having a house
called after you.

Inside was even bigger than the outside. Great big pictures of old people were on the
walls, most of them frowning.

In the drawing room (I ask you, there was no one drawing anything in there) Em
introduced me to her parents. He was a big bloke in a suit, but had a nice face, kind
like. ‘Father, this is Marlon. Marlon, my father.’ He held out his hand and I took it in
mine. ‘Nice to meet you mate’ I said. Then I saw her. Built like a battleship she was,
and dressed in grey like one too. ‘Mother this is Marlon’ said Emily. I held out my
hand ‘Nice to meet you missus’. I swear her chest rose a good six inches and her
mouth, well she was either sucking Lemons or acid drops. ’It’s lady.’ she said
glowering at me. ‘Sorry’ I says ’ Nice to meet you lady’.

After that things didn’t get any better and I was right pleased when Em said we had to
get back to London. We hadn’t eaten nothing, but I didn’t care, I wanted out.
The old man shook my hand and made some mumbling sounds, but the old girl kept
her arms folded across her vast chest and continued to suck her lemons or whatever.
Emily laughed all the way back to London but didn’t say why so I just laughed with

It was about two weeks later that Em suggested I move into her flat in Park Lane. She
said it wasn’t important in this day and age to get married. We’d be just as happy
living together.
Well that’s fine, but I don’t know what my old mum is going to say about it. I don’t really!!

The unobtainable is always the most desirable


Co Durham, United Kingdom

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