Katrina

Once I had many words to express my care
I sent them out like paper boats in the night
Hoping they would cross over and reach you
Sadly they got blown by the winds of heedlessness
And blindly landed crumpled up on your back shore
Amongst a growing pile of refuse and human cast -always
Useless pieces of flotsam on your pond of illusion
Where you gaze at your false image adoringly
Blinded by the lights in your darksome night
How I wished to reach you in your loneliness
But no one can abide there except the ghost of your mother
I hear your doors close one by one, a long hallway of closing doors
A history of closed doors a trail of them
A present now of doors refusing to open out of distrust.
The daily fever pitch search for more doors to open.
The high that comes with relief when a new door is found saved at last.
The tragic loneliness when that too slams shut.
I tried to walk with you in your circus world
I didn’t like the clowns or the crazy meanness it brought out in you.
But I cared for you through it all.
I hoped and prayed for the awakening of your heart and the beauty of that.
Now I sit in the dark tonight staring at the aftermath of our journey.
It feels so empty, used, drained, lonely, injured and sad
I look at my little pile of unwanted word boats on your back shore and wonder were we more like two trees alone in the forest?
My tree reached out for you to offer some of its heart fruit ripe for the picking.
you proved to be a good climber and climbed high to pluck each morsel.
meanwhile my roots screamed for water and withered in the dust.
I expected you to understand that trees need water, and sunshine
but then I understood that you had no gardener or gardening skills.
You have eaten my apples, refused to water my roots, shaken my tree violently
until most of the leaves fell off,
but you still have not gotten from me the real gift.
The gift you have always sought without knowing,
the gift you sensed from me in the beginning..
I have tried to give it to you in so many ways but your ears cannot hear me, your eyes cannot read and your heart cannot feel.
How is this to work? Only God knows
I confess my helplessness and rest my case..
I have rattled you, stomped the earth at you, lowered my eyes to you, served you, hurt you and haunted you all to no avail.
The gift you hold for me, for the world, has rested untouched locked in a vault of frozen steel with the key buried deeply in your will to withhold it.
So now I lie here with Katrina down in New Orleans battering down everything in its wake.
How did she find her way into my life?
Everything is strewn out around me in disarray.
How do I pick up the pieces now?
But I remember the phoenix and how she stirred from the ashes.
She has been growing in me for a long time preening her feathers patiently waiting for the bell to toll.
The time is almost here when she will rise in all of her terrible beauty.
Her great wings will flap slowly at first then pick up momentum for the great lift off
and then she will fly straight into the heart of power and might to the home of glorious reality where the radiance of new beginnings abide. Away, far away from the wrath of Katrina
Sadly I must leave you behind

Katrina

heyoka

Joined November 2008

  • Artist
    Notes

Artist's Description

The end of a relationship

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