helene ruiz

Joined October 2007

Helene Ruiz was born January 15, 1958 in New York City. She has exhibited and curated numerous shows and is the founder of The Urban...

exhausted

Today is one of those days when my mind is overflowing with ideas and a powerful desire to paint but my actual physical being is so tired, there is just no energy and I am becoming aware that a lot of my longing and desires are diminishing and I feel almost lifeless and dead inside…a sudden onset of new unwelcomed fears overwhelm me and strip me of my energy, yet I still try…but for some reason it won’t happen…all I want is to sleep….so exhausted. I am just so exhausted. I want to paint all I can before surgery but this time around, there is no energy and desire, passion and the ability is weak. Hopefully if I am blessed or worthy enough, the universe will restore my energy, desire and passion and I will finally feel like I once did before this illness stole even more of my time. Damn… Damn… Damn… OK Helene, you gotta find some energy!

Journal Comments

  • Madalena Lobao-Tello
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait
desktop tablet-landscape content-width tablet-portrait workstream-4-across phone-landscape phone-portrait