In His Eyes - Chapter 3

I’m so tired, I went swimming earlier to rest and swim for a bit but William was there and as usual making someone regret being where they are, my friends all kept telling me to sort him out (like I could do anything about him) but i couldn’t, so like the great friends they are they laughed at me. I was so glad when some kid about the same age as William punched him into the pool, i almost kissed him right there in front of all my friends(I wonder how they would’ve reacted) but held back. I caught up with him later while he was waiting to go home with his mum and we talked for a few minutes, he didn’t seem all that interested and was a little defensive at times so I decided to invite him to come to help me at work and talk some more, he said yes to my surprise and I was so happy I almost kissed him again. He’s so beautiful, his long wavy dark brown hair made him look a little grubby and his clothes didn’t help, I thought he was straight out of one of those bands from the 90s that mother band me from listening to. His eyes are an amazing shade of green and rimmed with black and I swore I saw little hints of gold in them, I doubt it though. We didn’t really talk much whilst walking to the store and when we got there he walked right past the book shop, I should really stop dressing like one of those chavs everyone moans about cause he seemed so surprised when I told him I worked there. We spent most the day talking and he helped me stack the shelves. He couldn’t get used to the shelving system and I had to put most the books he shelved in their right places. He talked a lot, but that’s fine with me cause I don’t like people asking personal questions, unfortunately I got nervous when he started asking questions and I ended the great day, I wonder how it would have ended if I hadn’t? and I must remember to find out who “the doors” are, I think dad liked that kind of music, I should look in the stuff he never took with him. I hope so much Jim is gay… I think he is…

Logan closed his note book and leant back against his chair, he sat staring at the ceiling of his room for at least 10 minutes before hearing his mother call up to him “Liam, dinners ready, wash your hands and come down to eat at the table please” Logan slowly got out of his seat and hid the note book at the back of a shelf of books he bought a few years ago to read, he hasn’t yet read them. He quickly turned the lamp on his desk off and silently walked into the bathroom to wash his hands.
By the time Logan got into the kitchen his mother and cousin were sitting at the table quietly eating from their plates occasionally drinking from glasses filled with orange squash, he sat down as far away as he could from William and noticed when he lifted his head that a nice big bruise was developing under his left eye and across his cheek.
After they had finished their dinners Logan and William went into the living room, William stretched out onto the sofa fiddling with the remote to see what’s on TV while Logan settled into a small stiff chair on the other side of the room watching indifferently as William flicked through the channels. The room they sat in was small, over furnished and cramped a large lamp stand stood in the corner of the room near Logan casting a red dull light making the room seem unbearably hotter than it really was, and it already was quite hot. The room seemed hostile to Logan, it didn’t like him and he didn’t like it.
After 20 minutes of slow channel flicking William settled on a music channel and turned it up loud. While a fast paced pop song played loudly through the house Logan decided to tease William “so Will, where did you get the bruise from?”
“you know perfectly well where I got it from” he grumbled
“oh right some kid punched you in the swimming baths didn’t he?”
“why did he punch you William? your mother wouldn’t be happy – if she was alive, bless her soul – to know you was fighting” Logan’s mother Linda asked as she poked her head through to the living room with here soapy wet hands holding onto the door frame
“i wasn’t fighting, he just attacked me for no reason”
“that isn’t what I heard, I thought he punched you because you was bullying some young kid, or was it cause earlier in the day you pinched his arse?” a hand quickly smacked down hard onto Williams head, he gasped hard in shock and leaned forward and cradling his head in an attempt to escape any more blunt trauma to his brain from another slap
“if I find out you’re a sodomite your straight out this house and can go live on the streets!” Linda shouted at the top of her voice, Logan was shocked by the outburst he felt guilty straight away and worried at what William might say in anger “I didn’t grab his arse! and I’m not fucking gay! he is!” he shouted flinging his hand towards Logan maliciously. Logan looked scared for a moment and forced himself to laugh at the top of his voice saying “I’m not gay you fool!” Linda looked at Logan and laughed as well “no son of mine would be a sodomite! he knows what would happen if he was” she laughed harder and returned to her kitchen leaving wet hand prints on the door frame paint, William mumbled abuse towards Logan then returned to channel hopping.
After 10 minutes of constant channel flicking Logan felt his eyes almost collapse in on themselves from boredom, he got up peered at William who was staring at the TV with such intent Logan wouldn’t flinch if it blew up Matilda style.
As Logan walked up the wide blue carpeted stairs his thoughts returned to Jim and if he would ever see him again. When he got into his room he hesitated for a few seconds, eventually he reached into his bookshelf and pulled out his note book, sitting on his bed he wrote quickly under his latest entry.

I hope he isn’t gay. It would cause to much trouble… wouldn’t it?

The rest of the summer holidays passed without an event, Logan went to work everyday to escape his mother and cousin, he had forced himself to forget Jim and worked as he normally would. When it came to the end of the holidays Logan had lost himself in his daily routine so much that his mother had to remind him he will be returning to college soon
“its your last year Liam and I don’t want you moping around college, now what ever has got you down I want you to get over it” instantly Logan remembered partly why he chose to lose himself in his work, Jim.
Over the next few days Logan prepared himself for college, he cleaned the pile of clothes that was gathering around his room, he laughed at himself for living like a teenager as he tossed a jumble of odd socks and underwear into the washing basket. He prepared his college bag, again laughing at himself for having a student bag, he reminded himself to act his age for once just because he was in college he didn’t have to live like the rest of the students, he had a silent debate with himself for an hour about the pros and cons of the student life, eventually closing the argument with a loud groan to the world “I’m such a bloody geek” as if by instinct or reflex he reached for his note book and opened it to his last entry which he was shocked to see dated a few weeks back, as he read the page he remembered clearer than ever his reason for losing himself in tedious routine.
On his first day back at college Logan felt like things might be returning to normal, he could keep on pretending he was fine and perhaps one day he would be. But his day soon broke down around him. As he got off his bus to college he spotted a car he thought he had seen before, a woman was driving it with 2 children in the back and someone getting out of the front seat, feeling his stomach lurch he almost threw up in the street on some business man’s shiny shoes, he recognised the person getting out he car, it was Jim.

In His Eyes - Chapter 3


Coventry, United Kingdom

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Read chapter 4 here



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